Page 27 of Bossy Mess


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They were absolutely infuriating people, a reminder that loneliness isn’t the worst thing that could happen to somebody. You could always be stuck with someone as awful as either of them.

“Listen,” Rebecca said. “Do you hear that?”

Did they hear us? I looked over at Wesley whose mouth was sealed shut. We remained frozen in place, him at the door and me with the covers of the bed up to my chin.

“Hear what?”

“Someone’s running the dryer,” Rebecca said. “You think I’m crazy, but there’s somebody in here. Where do you think you’re going?”

“Upstairs to see if anybody’s there.”

“Don’t do that!” she said. “What if they’re a murderer with a gun?” She paused. “On second thought, yeah, you should go check it out.”

“Yeah, a murderer with a gun who does home invasions to take care of his laundry.”

We could hear his footsteps on the stairs as he came upstairs without a hint of hesitancy. Wesley gestured for me to get underneath the covers fast.

“Mr. Dyer,” Wesley said, through the door.

“Who is that?!” he shouted. “Come out and show yourself!”

“It’s Wesley Hartford from Dynasty Realty and I can’t come out right now.”

“It’s Wesley Hartford!” Marty yelled.

“I know,” Rebecca said. “I can hear him, too.”

She climbed the stairs after Marty. The walls were really thin in this house.

Marty turned the doorknob to the bedroom, but Wesley put his weight into it to keep it from opening.

“Please do not come in here,” Wesley said, his voice strained. “I’ve got everything under control.”

“You can’t keep me out of our own house,” Rebecca said. “Here Marty, let’s push on three. One. Two. Three!”

The two of them working together — possibly for the first time in their entire lives — were enough to push the door open.

“Oh, my lord!” Rebecca said. “Mr. Hartford, you’re naked.”

I stayed as still as I could underneath the blanket.

“And ripped!” she added.

“Don’t stare at him,” Marty said.

“I’m not staring,” she said. “I just need to get a complete picture in case the police need me to give a report.”

“Ma’am, sir,” Wesley said, “let me explain. I’d imagine it’s very strange to show up at your house and see the manager of your real estate agency naked in your bedroom, but I assure you there’s a very innocent explanation.”

“I’d like to hear this,” Rebecca said.

“Also, why is it so hot in here?” Marty asked. “The rest of the house is freezing, but this room is like a sauna.”

“Hot air rises, Marty,” Rebecca said. “Mr. Hartford, why are you here?”

“If you’d please, Ms. Dyer?” Wesley said.

“It’s Ms. Chapman,” she said, “I’m no longer married.”

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