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Sitting back down, I reach for the water and sniff it before gulping it down. Kai notices, and he looks so devastated, I almost feel bad.Almost.He had me drink spiked wine, so how do I know he hasn’t done something to the water?
“There are certain things that are expected of the Ruler, and by extension, the female Ruler. Sharing you with the council was one thing, and I did what I could to spare you.” Kai looks imploringly at me, and I nod my acquiesce. “Each woman must be tested as well. Though it’s nothing like the tests you’re accustomed to as a Drákon. Instead of bloody and violent training, it’s meant to test your stamina and will to succeed—to live. Your chalice was laced with GHB, or Gamma Hydroxybutyrate, if you will.”
“What?” Liam shouts, looking at me through wild eyes. Taking his hand again, I stroke the skin with my thumb. This isn’t news to me. Abel had already told me the result of my toxicology report. “Did you know?” he asks, narrowing his eyes as he looks at me.
“I knew what he drugged me with, but not why,” I admit.
Kai looks ashamed, rightfully so. “The point was for you to fight it, and then to get help on your own. It wasn’t something I looked forward to, and I would have spared you if I could. I hate these fucking old traditions and laws, it isn’t right.” Kai’s fist connects with the table, startling me. “I didn’t want that for you. But even I can only bend the rules so much, and I don’t think Uther and Romulus would allow me to go against tradition on two things. Either I had to let them fuck you, or I had to allow the lacing of your chalice. Did I choose wrong? Should I have let them fuck you?”
I consider Kai’s questions carefully, letting them take root in my mind as I ponder the right answer. What would be worse? Is there even a lesser of the evils? Yes, yes, there is, and he spared me from that one. Because if the council had to fuck me, Nikolaos would’ve been one of them.
“No, you didn’t choose wrong,” I sigh, feeling defeated and sickened that I live in a world where that’s even a choice. Tightening my hold on Liam’s hand, I try to draw strength from him.
“Right, so that explains what happened to Cia,” Liam speaks up, making sure I don’t get too lost in my thoughts to forget the bigger picture. “What about the rest? Did you spike mine and Gus’ wine?”
Kai immediately shakes his head. “No, and I didn’t spike those of the Leaders, or my own, either. Something went terribly wrong.”
I can practically see the thoughts running through Liam’s head, and I instinctively know what’s coming next. Before he can ask, I reach for Gus, happy when he reaches for me at the same time. I might not have forgiven him, but I know what he’s going through, and no one should do that alone.
“Uther and Romulus are dead,” Liam says, looking between me and Gus with a frown on his face. I can’t stop looking at the V between his eyebrows, and I get an urge to lick the dip in his otherwise smooth skin. “What about Nikolaos?” he asks, flinching when he realizes the answer to his question.
My throat is clogging up, and I can no longer distance myself from the truth, so I allow the dam to burst. Hot tears fall from my eyes as I croak, “He didn’t make it.”
The strangled cry coming from Gus has me on my feet before I know it, and I crawl into his lap. Winding my arms around his neck, I rest my head on his shoulder and let the silent sobs tear through me while I hold him as tight as I can. Gus is quick to return the embrace, his arms around my middle as he presses me against his hard body. He’s shaking against me, and I feel the wetness from his tears in my hair.
We sit like that—uninterrupted—until breathing is no longer tasking, and I can suck air in, unobstructed by the ball of emotions in my throat. I look up just in time to see Kai place a box of tissues on the table, and he squeezes Gus’ shoulder as he walks back to his seat.
Even though the small show of kindness sets me off again, it also warms me. I don’t know what Kai and Gus think of each other, I just know it speaks volumes that Kai is silently being nice and considerate.
Unable to take the grief-caused silence any longer, I straighten on Gus’ lap—but I don’t leave it. I look imploringly at Liam, needing him to carry on the conversation for me until I feel like I can talk without my voice cracking.
“You said that Gus was stabilized a few days ago,” Liam says, looking at Kai, who nods. “Was he poisoned as well?” Liam’s eyes dart to Gus, and for once, he looks at him with kindness.
Kai looks at me and Gus before he answers. “He—”
“Next question,” I interrupt. “Gus wasn’t poisoned… well, he was… you were, too, Liam. But that’s not what… look, it doesn’t really matter right now.”
I can feel Liam’s probing gaze on me, and I know we need to broach it at some point. It just seems so cruel to do it right now. There was something in Gus’ wine, and judging by the security footage in Nikolaos’ home that I watched, the same thing affected my cousin and Liam. That’s not what Gus needed to recover from, though. It was his dad’s death.
To say that Gus lost it is both right and an understatement—in truth, he went ballistic. Throwing shit around, screaming himself hoarse, and threatening anyone who came near his dad’s corpse. In the end, I took him out with a needle to the neck. It might have been a cowardly way to control him. I was at my wit’s end, and desperate enough to do anything to bring him peace.
Though I can’t claim to know where Gus’ head is at, I think he feels a lot of guilt. Since we got back to civilization almost one year ago, he has distanced himself more and more from his dad. Caught between a mission for the Kronos Society, and his love for his mom—who doesn’t fucking deserve it.
“I don’t mean to be insensitive here,” Liam says, sounding regretful and determined at the same time. “But if we’re meant to talk everything through, don’t we need all the facts?”
He’s right, of course. I just don’t have it in me to lay Gus’ behavior out when he’s still raw and vulnerable. “We do,” I agree. “But maybe we can start with what’s vital? Physically, Gus is healthy as can be, and that’s all that matters.”
“Right,” my consort agrees, eyes never straying from mine. “So you were poisoned as part of some sicko test, Gus and I were… what? Something was definitely wrong, and if you said the same happened to your cousin, what else could it be? And we still don’t know what the hell happened to you, Kai.”
Liam is growing increasingly agitated, his leg bouncing up and down, and one of his hands is splayed out on the table while he absentmindedly stabs the knife into the space between each finger. Gnawing on my bottom lip, I try to wrap my head around all the loose ends, trying to envision how it all ties together.
“I have Abel’s toxicology report from Gus’ bloodwork,” Kai explains, pointing at some papers in front of him. “Though it’s as inconclusive as my own, all signs point to a sedation drug being used. Nothing fatal, just enough to knock our asses out… well, two out of three asses. Liam, you were awake, weren’t you?”
Liam nods, not taking his eyes off his hand as he continues to stab into the table. “Something like that,” he murmurs, his voice thick with emotion and the top of his ears burning red like he’s embarrassed or angry.
I clench my fists as anger and indignation stirs inside me. My dad had no right calling Liam’s loyalty into question. The fact of the matter is that drugs can affect people in different ways, and that’s not the victim’s fault.
Sighing, I realize my mistake. By protecting Gus, I’m holding something back, so how can I ask anyone else to be completely honest, faults and all? I can’t do that. If we’re to be a unit, and I hope we can become that, then we need to trust in each other. Much like Rome, trust isn’t built in one day—I already know this. We have to start somewhere, though.
