Page 55 of Sanctuary


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I hadn’t allowed myself to think about my mother much since arriving at Sanctuary.When she did flicker in my memories, I’d pushed them back.I had too many other things to worry about without the sharp pain directly to my heart that just her name could produce.My body had been healing, and that required too much energy to let thoughts of that woman distract me.

Not wanting to think about either of my parents, I carefully extricated myself from Jack’s hold.The moment his arm fell onto the bed, I felt cold and more alone than ever before.Ignoring the new hollow sensation in my chest, I walked into the bathroom and quietly shut the door.

While I showered away the remaining traces of tears and soothed the aching muscles of my neck and back with the massaging, hot jets, I tried not to let my mind drift to the man sleeping in my bed.

He hadn’t kissed me last night.I wasn’t even sure I still wanted him to.His betrayal made me feel raw.

Love made a person vulnerable.I should have fought mine for Jack.I never should have opened my heart to him.

Maybe there was a hidden switch somewhere inside me that I could flip and not have to feel all this…agony.Rinsing the conditioner from my hair, I tried to turn it off.But if I hadn’t learned how to do it by this point in my life, I doubted I ever would.

I craved being loved too damn much.

Once I was clean, I stepped out and wrapped a towel around my body.My hair dripped down my back and over my shoulders, but I just stood there staring at the steamed-up mirror above the sink, frozen with the humiliation of my own gullibility.

“Nishia?”

I jerked at the sound of my name in his voice.Why did it have to sound like a caress?So sweet and gentle in that rough, bearlike growl.I wrapped my arms around myself, to hold that feeling close just as much as to fight the hurt that tried to kick me yet again.

The bathroom door opened ever so slightly, but he didn’t try to push his way in, offering me privacy—and the illusion that I had control.

A laugh tried to bubble out of my dry throat.

Control.

Such a powerful word, yet something I’d lacked from the moment I was born.

“Baby.”

The condensation was slowly evaporating, and I was able to see parts of my reflection.As more of my face was revealed, I found myself staring into a pair of wide, pain-filled blue eyes that looked stark in a pale face.There was a blankness in that gaze, but still, the chaos of my life bled through.

I felt sick.

The world had dimmed, stealing away any glimmer of brightness.All my hopes and silly, little girl dreams had finally been stolen away.

“Nishia, sweetheart?”

Tears filled my eyes at the sound of Gracie’s voice.I choked back a sob, my throat already protesting after the mental breakdown I’d had in the early hours of the morning.

Pushing the door inward, Jack’s mom stood behind me.Her face was darkened with concern.Not the distrust and condemnation that should have been there.

Morgan blood ran through my veins.

She should hate me for what my father’s family had put her through.She should be on her guard around me, because I carried the DNA of people who had harmed her.

Instead, all I could see was understanding and…acceptance.Closing my eyes, I shook my head frantically, causing still-soaked hair to whip around me.

Her blue eyes tried to rekindle the hope that had always lived in my heart, when my brain knew all too well that it was a joke fate played on poor, unsuspecting people.

“Honey, let me help you dry your hair,” Gracie offered.“You need to put some clothes on before you catch a chill.”

Her soft hand touched my arm so lovingly.Like a mother should touch her daughter.

“No!”I jerked back as if she’d burned me.“You can’t do this to me.I won’t allow it.”

“Nishia—”

“Stop.Please, I’m begging you.Don’t.It hurts too much.I-I don’t think I’ll survive much more.”

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