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Evan Gray stood on the ridge and looked down over the canyon and cursed. It looked like one hell of a drop. He knew there would be no way for him to survive a fall like that, but he wanted to jump anyway. Wasn’t that the plan? Well, if getting out of bed a few hours earlier, taking a quick shower, dressing, and mid-way between pulling on his pants and sliding his t-shirt over his chest, deciding to jump off a cliff, could be called a plan. He wasn’t quite sure what to call what he was about to do, but he really hadn’t planned any of this.
“Just do it, coward,” he grumbled to himself. “You drove all the way out here to jump, so fucking jump,” he shouted to himself. He wanted to laugh at the irony of sounding like a complete lunatic, standing on the side of a mountain, yelling at himself, but here he was. His doctors wouldn’t think this whole situation was funny at all, but he found it fucking hilarious.
Evan performed one last check, making sure he was ready, and took three giant steps, leaping off the side of the cliff. A moment of panic welled up inside of him and for just a minute, he felt as though he might vomit, but he didn’t. The wind tossed him about, just like it had when he jumped out of an airplane, but not as bad. He free-fell for another fifteen seconds and then pulled his chute. His whole body jerked back up, as the parachute filled with air, slowing his descent. He coasted back down to the canyon floor and stumbled forward when his feet hit the sandy bottom, dropping to his knees to catch his breath.
“Fuck,” he shouted up at the sky. “I did it,” he yelled. He pulled his chute to his body and took off his harness. The adrenalin was coursing through his veins, and he knew from experience that high wouldn’t last long. He had gotten hooked on it since leaving the Army. Base jumping was just the latest adventure in his already long list of crazy things he did to get his blood pumping. They were all things to help him forget, and for just a few minutes, he did. But then when the high wore off, the memories of Danny came flooding back which usually had him planning his next crazy adventure.
He repacked his chute and hiked the two miles out of the canyon, back to his Jeep and by the time he reached his vehicle, Danny’s ghost was once again by his side. His best friend smiled and nodded and damn it, Evan smiled back at him. “You’re not real,” he growled at the apparition. “The doctors told me you are just a figment of my imagination—a manifestation of my guilt.” Danny’s blue eyes danced with mischief as he stood by Evan’s Jeep as if he was waiting for him. Evan knew that talking to someone, or something who wasn’t real sounded crazy. Hell, it made him feel crazy. That was the reason why he checked himself into the VA hospital for two months. When he realized all the therapy in the world wasn’t going to help him forget what happened to his best friend, he checked himself out and did the only thing that felt right. He went sky diving and for just a few minutes, the ghost of his dead Army buddy didn’t haunt him. For those few minutes, he forgot that he was responsible for the death of his best friend and no amount of therapy would ever bring him back—Danny was gone and there was nothing he could do about it.
Evan closed his eyes, willing the apparition to disappear, but when he opened his eyes, he found Danny still standing by the bumper of the Jeep. He needed to calm the hell down and remember who he was. He was a US Army Special Forces weapons sergeant—or at least he was. His last mission, when they lost Danny, would prove to be his final mission, and the fact that he had to give up the only life he knew and the work he loved doing, hurt like a son-of-a-bitch.
Evan threw his gear into the back of his Jeep and jumped into the driver’s seat. He looked into the rearview mirror and sighed, “If you’re coming with, you might as well jump in.” Evan nodded to the passenger seat and wanted to laugh at just how ridiculous he sounded, offering his dead friend a ride. Honestly, nothing in his life seemed to make sense anymore, but that was his new normal. He just hoped sooner or later, he’d find a way to leave the past where it belonged, in his review mirror, right next to the ghost of his dead best friend.
