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On the other hand, I’ve been trying to figure out a way to tell the guys that I’m pregnant.
I made a doctor’s appointment with an OB, and Lucky took me to it yesterday. They confirmed the pregnancy and ran some more lab work. Now my nerves are running wild waiting for the results to come back.
I never stopped to think about the consequences of my actions or the fact that all the traumatic experiences I’ve had over the past few months could possibly lead to this, but here I am.
A little scared, a little excited, and a baby growing every second of every day in my tummy.
Lucky’s still the only one who knows. I haven’t even told my mom yet. Even though I know she’ll be excited, the thought of telling her that Gabe might be the daddy gives me anxiety.
She doesn’t know him like I do. Hell, I don’t think anyone does. He’s only ever allowed this world to see the awful side of him, the side that’s full of anger and bitterness. The side that makes him a bad man.
If I’m honest, we all have that side to us. The only difference is he’s let that part of him shine brightly for a very long time. Way too long.
He deserves justice for what King has turned his life into, he deserves to find happiness again.
I’m grateful that Gabe trusted me enough to give me a little insight into who he is and why his life has led him down this road.
The bond between us couldn’t be stronger. It’s something I never saw coming.
That doesn’t make telling him about this pregnancy any easier.
I know how devastated he was when he found out that Dante was not his son, and now given the situation, who knows how he would react.
Especially when I can’t say for certain if my baby is Lucky’s or Gabriel’s.
I’d like to hope that he would be happy if the baby was his, but given the life he’s led, I’m not so sure, which makes me uneasy.
If the baby is Lucky’s, I think the guys would swallow that pill a little bit easier than if it was Gabe’s.
But if the baby turns out to be Gabe’s, then I don’t know where that leaves any of us.
And that scares me the most.
Dante and I are trying to navigate a rocky road; we’ve been careful not to push each other’s buttons. And this changes the game completely.
When I do tell him, he may just wash his hands and be done with me completely, and that will leave me broken all over again. I’m not prepared for that and don’t know if I ever will be.
I never wanted to be the type of girl whose world revolved around a boy or, in my case, lots of boys, but that’s how my story has unfolded, and I can’t see any way around it.
I love them. All of them. Life would be hard to bear if any one of them chose to walk away at this point.
Lucky will be there no matter what, that much I know is true. Jax loves me so unconditionally, it’s hard to ask for anything more than that, but he would be there.
Royal and Dante are the wild cards.
Not knowing how they will react is what’s holding me back from telling them, but I know it needs to happen sooner rather than later.
“You ready to eat, Pretty Girl?” Dante peeks his head inside Royal’s room where I am sprawled out in the middle of the bed contemplating my life.
“You said the magic words. I’m starving.” I hop out of bed as he strides over to me. Tossing my arms around his neck, I pull him to me and kiss him.
I try to savor every moment I have with him, knowing that any of them could be the last.
He breaks our kiss with a chuckle. “Someone’s feeling frisky.”
“This no-sex thing is about to kill me. Who came up with that shitty idea anyway?” I laugh.
He boops me on the nose. “It was your shitty idea. Something about how unfair it was to Royal. If he couldn’t get any, then none of us could.”
