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“Just be there for her. You’re already proving to be a very hands-on dad, and that’s all any girl ever wants no matter how old she is,” Erin said.
I nodded, but I didn’t have the chance to say anything else before Libby reappeared in her doorway. She was dressed in her typical long sleeved black shirt and leggings. Erin looked like she wanted to say something, but she didn’t. She was clearly a fast learner, and she knew it didn’t help much asking Libby if she wanted to put on something more comfortable for the heat.
“Do you want breakfast before we go?” I asked. “We can always grab something at the mall if you decide you’re hungry.”
“Okay,” Libby said with a shrug. She still wasn’t showing much enthusiasm, and I silently prayed the trip would go well. The last thing I wanted was for this to turn into something negative, especially between Libby and Erin.
“And off we go!” Erin enthusiastically announced as she poured her coffee into a travel mug. Her excitement did elicit a smile from Libby at least, which I figured was a good sign. I still wasn’t sure how to get the conversation started with my daughter, and I hoped there would be something that would be easy for us to talk about. Easy in the sense it wasn’t going to bring up any negative feelings or emotional responses out of Libby.
Erin was fairly talkative during the drive downtown, doing what she could to keep Libby’s mind on anything but the drive. For the most part, I got the impression it was working, but there was still the sinking feeling in my stomach over the fact we were going shopping and it was clear to me Libby really didn’t want to go do this.
But she was going along with the idea well enough, which I hoped was encouraging.
We got to the mall, and the three of us headed inside. I kept a close eye on Libby, ready to call off the entire trip if it didn’t go as well as I hoped. But she seemed to be having a good enough conversation with Erin, and she didn’t appear to be too upset about what we were doing at the mall. But then, we hadn’t gotten to the point of her getting any clothing yet, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to convince her to do so.
“What do you like?” Erin asked her. “Like, what’s your vibe?”
Libby didn’t answer. Instead, she walked through the store, stopping at a single rack and pulling off a few shirts in her size. There wasn’t anything remarkable about the shirts. I could see that from the moment she picked them up. They were long sleeve and black, and there weren’t any embellishments or prints on them. They were about as basic as she could go, with the long sleeves, of course.
“These are fine. It’s all I need,” she said.
“Are you sure?” Erin asked.
“I’m sure.”
“Okay,” she said. My heart sank. It seemed like my idea to bring Erin along wasn’t working the way I hoped it would, and Libby was just going to buy the same clothes she always did. It broke my heart, and I wished I knew the way to get her to try something else, to embrace just how beautiful she was despite the fact she had scars on her arms.
“Well, if you’re done with your shopping, will you help me with mine?” Erin asked. “I need another girl’s opinion on what I’m going to wear down here. It’s different from what I’m used to back home.”
“Alright,” Libby said, though her voice still lacked enthusiasm.
Erin walked over to the rack of clothes, fishing through them. I wasn’t sure what she was looking for, or if there even was something in particular. She seemed to be on a mission to find something, but it must have been buried in the rack as she moved past all the things that were in the front.
She grabbed a dress and held it up to her chest, looking at it as though it was on her, then she looked over to Libby.
“What do you think about this one?”
“It’s pretty.”
“Do you think I should try it on?”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” Erin echoed. “Come on with me then.”
She led us through the store and toward the dressing room, stopping just outside.
“You two wait right here. I’ll be right back,” Erin told us before she disappeared into the dressing room.
Libby and I stood together, and I hated that the silence between us was uncomfortable. I never imagined the day would come when I wouldn’t be able to think of something to say to my daughter, and yet, my mind was drawing a complete blank right now. I silently prayed Erin would hurry up while trying on the clothing, so at the very least, we would have something else to talk about.
But the agonizing silence only lasted for a few minutes before Erin reappeared, and my breath caught in my throat. She was absolutely stunning. The dress hugged her curves in all the right places, with the neckline being high in the front, but dipping low in the back. There were no sleeves, but a belt was tied around the middle, accentuating her thin waist. I hadn’t realized before just how curvy she was, but even with the dress covering much of her body, I was getting a pretty good idea of the magic she hid underneath.
“What do you think?” she asked.
“You’re so beautiful,” Libby breathed. There was a distinct sadness in her voice that broke my heart. I knew she was wishing she felt just as beautiful about herself, and I was about to tell her she was when Erin spoke.
“Do you think it shows off my scars well enough?” she asked. “I don’t want to hide them.”
