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I’ve thought about Theo and that conversation dozens of times since I saw him. The way he looked, how nice he was to my aunts, how he barely looked at me, the way the three brothers looked huddled around their table, their shoulders burly and their expressions intense.
And Amy.
I think a lot about Amy.
By the time Saturday rolls by and I’ve done all my chores for the day, spending extra time exercising the horses and tending to Fiona, who is making progress, I am still thinking about Theo and Amy.
Does she live here?
She must.
How can I avoid ever seeing the two of them together?
What does she look like?
I can’t for the life of me remember an Amy…
It sounds like the whole family is into her though, so she must be gorgeous.
And on and on and on…until I’m sick of myself.
It’s a beautiful day, the warmest day we’ve had since I’ve been here. I decide to go for a hike. It feels like a major decision since I haven’t left the property besides the other night at The Pink Ski.
I get a water bottle and grab an extra layer in case it’s cooler later, wrapping it around my waist. As I start out past the stables and toward the mountains, I already feel lighter. The air feels freer somehow with every step I take away from that house. Determined not to let the memories steal this from me, I shut it down every time a flash of something comes to mind.
This is how I survived when I made it to Texas. The land so flat and desolate compared to my home here. I was unbearably homesick in Texas and yet liberated. Stuck and yet finally free.
I had to train my brain to turn everything off. And being back here has been like opening the dam, everything barreling toward me all at once.
I lose track of time making my way up the trail, choosing a path I remember well. It looks different now, but there are enough similarities that I manage to get to the top of the mountain within an hour and a half, give or take a little detour or two. When I reach the top, I go to the edge and sit down, my feet dangling. There’s a ledge not too far below, so I’m not too worried about falling.
The sky is crystal clear, and the view takes my breath away. It’s not the highest vista, but I’ve always loved it just as much. Maybe because Theo and I spent so much time up here.
He just always finds a way into my thoughts.
I pull out my water bottle and hear scuffling behind me and a dog shoots out of the trees, trotting straight toward me. I hold out my hand, but his tail is already smacking my back, his derpy face smiling at me.
“Fred!”
I freeze when I hear Theo’s voice and so does the dog.
Fred, apparently.
We both turn and Theo rushes out of the trees, his whole body sagging in relief when Fred runs toward him.
“I can’t believe you ran off,” he says. “I thought you were past that.”
And then he notices me and his body tenses again as he braces himself.
I hate the effect I have on him now.
“Sofie,” he says evenly.
“Hey,” I say quietly.
There’s a tense silence. Even nature seems to be hanging with bated breath.
“I thought about this view so many times while I was away. It’s just as beautiful as I remembered.”
