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Iopen my mouth and immediately snap it shut it before swallowing hard, then give her the only answerIcan. “I’ma friend.Aninvitedfriend.”
“We’llwait out here and see ifweget an invitation.”Thewoman rolls her eyes, then pulls the door shut.
Ishake my head in shock. “Doyou get that often?”IaskCassie.
Shegrimaces. “Sometimes.Usuallywhen they play these one-off gigs and security doesn’t know whether the guys want women sent back.Alot of the artists are more than happy to wrap up a performance with sex in the dressing room or a blow job in any alcove.”
Iwilt a little.Isthat somethingDevondoes?Ididgive him a blow job at the filming of his music video.Atthe time,Ididn’t give it any thought becauseIwas distracted by… well, him.Butit probably wasn’t the first time he traded quick orgasms in a closet.
Asudden tendril of unease unfurls in my chest.Ishouldn’t let a groupie rattle me, but the encounter chips away at me, and memories come rushing back.ThethingsPhillipwould say afterIspoke toDevonorBeauon the phone, or during the arguments we’d inevitably have after my short and increasingly infrequent visits toLA.Thelast argument, the one that led me to leave him finally, had been the worst.He’dmade horrible accusations—about me and them—after he accused me of leading on the guy at the bar.
“Youspread your legs for them like a slut, don’t you?Ibet you go there just so you can whore yourself out to them because they’re famous.Butthey don’t want you.Otherwise, one of them would have claimed you by now.Youmight be good for a quick fuck, but that’s all you’ll ever be to them.”
Pressurerises hard and fast in my chest, the way it always does when the hurtful things he said to me break free from the boxI’velocked tight and tried to bury deep.Iforce myself to see past the emotion it invokes to the reality.Phillipwas a hateful, insecure bully thatIlet influence me for far too long.Holdingon to his words is only hurting me.
Andhe was wrong.Abouteverything.Mypainting is getting better again, andIthinkImight have a shot at getting into art school.Thenthere’sDevon.There’ssomething real between us.Assoon as we tellBeau, we can figure out where we want to go from here.AndIrefuse to dwell on why he’s so reluctant to do it.Hesays he has his reasons, andIbelieve him.He’snot likePhillip.Hecares too much about me to hurt me.
Ibelieve that.
Ido.
Thedoor opens again, and this time,Devon’sthere, searching the room and finding me immediately in a way that makes warmth bloom in my chest.Zac’sbehind him, but the other two take a little longer.Iimagine the women are still out there.Butonly a few seconds later,BeauandCalebappear.
Beaustrips hisT-shirt off and uses it to wipe his forehead and scrub through his hair before tossing it on a chair.Ihide a laugh at the image of the women outside fighting each other to get their hands onBeau’ssweaty clothes.
“What’dyou think of the show?” he asks me.
“Itwas okay.”Ishrug and bite my cheek to hold back a laugh.
Hismouth falls open. “Justokay?”
Helooks so offended thatIcan’t stop the laughter from bubbling out of me. “Itwas amazing.Honestly, you guys are just… beyond words.I’mso proud of you.”Istand and wrap my arms around him, unbothered by the dampness of his skin since it’s nothingIhaven’t felt before over the years.He’sbeen my best friend for so long,Ican’t imagine not having him in my life.
Beaudrops a kiss on my head, andIgive him a final squeeze before stepping back and looking atDevon.Ifeel almost shy about hugging him too, out in the open like this.ButIdo it, wrapping my arms around him and breathing him in.IknowImust be in love if the smell of his sweat has my body lighting up.ButallIwant to do is rub myself against him, press my lips to every inch of his skin, wrap my body around his, and stay that way.
He'stense to begin with, but soon relaxes into it and hugs me back.Asmuch asI’dlike to set up camp in his arms, ifIkeep hugging him like this, it’ll raise suspicion.Ireluctantly step back.
“DoIget a hug too?”Calebasks with a sly grin.
“Ifyou want a hug,I’msure the girls outside will help you out,”Devongrowls at him.
Caleb’ssmile only widens. “I’msure they will.”
ZacandCassiehave distanced themselves from the group.ThewayZachas his hand curled possessively aroundCassie’sneck as he smiles down at her sends a sharp pang of longing shooting through me.WhatI’dgive forDevonto touch me like that in public…Buthe can’t.Anduntil that changes,I’llhave to console myself with all the hidden touchesIcan steal.
* * *
Afew hours and two mind-blowing orgasms later,DevonandIare lying on our sides, facing each other.Ihave one leg hooked over his waist to keep him as close as possible.He’sholding a lock of my hair between two fingers and using the tip of it to feather over my nipple.Hislips curve up in a smile as it furls tight at the sensation.
“Howdoes it feel?”Iask.
Thistime, he uses his index finger to brush over the hardened peak. “Itfeels amazing.”
Ilaugh. “Imean how does it feel to have thousands of fans screaming your name?Tobe on stage knowing all those people are there just for you.Justto see how amazing you are.”
Hissmile isn’t as bright asIexpected. “Itfeels…”Hehesitates, as if searching for the right words. “Exactlythe wayIalways hoped it would.”
Iprop myself up on one elbow, sensing that this is about something more than the adoration of fans. “Howdid you always hope it would feel?”
