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However as I spied more idyllic settings complete with romantic gondola rides, and lovers cuddling on a single seat while the gondoliers swept the small watercraft through the many canals of the famous sinking city, I questioned my choice of location again. If the universe wanted me to reflect on what I'd walked out on, she was doing a fine job of it.
Two Italian men, somewhere in their seventies, were sitting in the same place they had the day before, doing the exact same thing. With a bottle of wine on the table and a chess game sitting between them, they took painstakingly time calculating each move while together they solved the world problems. The lower the volume of the fluid the bottle held, the more convinced they became that they had all the answers to the troubles of today.
A few minutes later, I stood up and tossed a few euros on the table to pay for my drink and walked away. Just the thought of my real life —the one I lived when I wasn't pretending to be someone I wasn't—made me want to flee.
The sun was starting to set when I found myself in Saint Mark's Square. Half a dozen switchbacks of tiny alleys framed by bridges and buildings that looked exactly like others yet unique in their own way lined the square.
The massive plaza had already started to fill with water. With a city destined to sink into the ocean sometime in the next hundred years, the Venetians were used to the sight, while tourists tossed off their shoes and made light of the water rising from the drains normally used to rid the square of seawater. But for today, the city wasn't sinking. It was simply enduring another day of lovers strolling the city and small vignettes of six-piece orchestras playing everything from classical music to modern pop while tourists drank their wine.
I paused in the moment.
Then I slipped off my sandals and walked through the ankle deep water in the center of the square.
A woman in a black gown held the tip of her gown and smiled into the camera.
I walked around until I stood at the space between the church and the sea.
I'm hiding, I thought while the world moved by. Here I was, feeling bereft, heartbroken and alone walking the streets of a touristry Italian city chosen on a whim where not one soul knew who–or what– I was. The anonymity of it all drove me here.
"Sophie?" a hesitant voice called me. Shock caused my spine to stand ramrod straight. Who knew me here?
I turned towards the direction of the voice carefully. I could not afford to give away my anonymity so soon. The voice belonged to a young woman and a shock of recognition ran through me.
The woman from Raymond’s bedroom.
She was voluptuous and incredibly attractive. Wearing a pink number on a black knee length set of boots, she made me feel like goldilocks. My eyes narrowed in anger as I faced the last person I expected to see, the woman who had caused the messy situation between Raymond and I.
"I'm Maria." She was saying.
I stared at her impassively, silent. She appeared nervous at my lack of response.
"I'm sure you must hate my guts."
"Understatement of the year," I said. She stared at my eyes, faltering for a bit, then continued.
"Even though my words might not mean much to you, I truly am sorry for the unpleasant situation I caused between you and Mr. Tucker."
My eyes narrowed, why was she calling him that? Weren't lovers supposed to address themselves in an informal manner or theirs was one that thrived on the formality of name calling.
Interesting.
"I came all the way here to let you know that nothing is going on between Mr. Tucker and I. Honestly he's not who or what you think he is. He is a good man, I promise you."
"Did Raymond put you up to this?" I demanded "I have no time for games.”
"Wait!" she called out as I turned to leave, I shot her an impatient glare. "Nothing happened between Mr. Tucker and I, not that day you first saw us, not the last time you caught me in the bedroom. He's only helping me get a loan for my business."
"What are you saying?" I asked as my heart constricted suddenly at her words.
"Mr. Tucker is the only man who has set his eyes on me and not wanted to have sex with me. All my life, I've grown up with the belief that every man wanted something from me, my body, my skills, anything. I've always given without much thought for myself because I rationalized it in my head as the only way I could survive."
I was frozen completely on my feet now, no force could move me away from the spot I stood as I struggled to comprehend the implications of Maria's words.
"He told me, Maria you and I, we are a lot alike." Tears were streaming down her face now. "You had to do what you had to do to survive as I did. I would be the last person to judge you."
I wanted to shake this woman badly, demanding that she stop her lies.No! I know what I saw.But, was it accurate?A small voice questioned and I lost steam. For a wild moment, I allowed myself to imagine the possibility that I had read things all wrong.
Oh no!
