AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“This way, you could make him jealous and show him what he’s missing out on. Maybe it’ll provoke him to hurry up, shoot his shot—again—and you can get back together?”
“I didn’t say that!”
She’s not wrong, though. I want to know he still wants me. I want to undo all the things I said to push him away. I want to be good enough for him.
“Playing hard to get is for bitches, Bird. You want something? Go get it, then!”
I fold my arms on the table and drop my forehead to them. “I know.” My voice is muffled as I groan into the table.
“What has gotten into you? This is the kind of shit I would expect from you while you were living with Julianne. You hide and wait for the other person to be vulnerable first so you don’t have to.”
I lift my head.
“Jesus fuck, okay! Will you stop yelling at me now?” I whisper-shout.
There’s a quiet break in her interrogation. She’s giving me tough love to show she cares, I know it’s coming from a place of kindness.
I’m well aware I fucked up. I made a lot of assumptions, and they were all based on messages I fed myself. He constantly encouraged me to get out of the house, to explore, to do whatever I wanted. He wanted me to spend time with my family. He wasn’t trying to “keep” me. Marrying Lonan is nothing like the hell I went through with Julianne.
“So, who is your date?”
“This guy named Nate.”
She’s staring at me again. Her raised eyebrows and smile convey equal parts disappointment and amusement.
“Nate, who-works-for-the-team Nate? The one who wouldn’t stop checking out your ass? Who Lonan hates?”
“That’s the one. We’re going asfriends. He was already going, I was already going. It’s not a big deal. You make it sound like we can’t all act like adults here.”
She cackles. “That’s cute.”
“Why are you laughing? He’s nice.”
I know what I’m doing. And yeah, maybe I don’t want to look weak if he’s moved on. The server sets our drinks in front of us, and I already want to order a second. Micky is grilling me, and I need some reprieve, even if it is in the form of a cocktail.
“Does Lonan know?” Her eyes are big.
“I dunno. I told my family, so it’s possible.”
“You probably just signed that dude’s death certificate,” she says, taking her first sip. “Needs more lemon,” she mutters.
“He’s not a caveman, Freya.”
She sets her drink down and raises her eyebrows at me for using the F-name.
“He is for you! Listen, I know you’re trying to play hard ball right now because you don’t want your inner feelings exposed, but that man wants yours exposed... he wants itbad,” she adds, looking into her 1940s champagne glass as she takes another sip.
I want her to be right. Talking about him makes the butterflies in my stomach stir, and I hate that it’s giving me hope. I don’t want to be naïve about the situation.
“I’m almost ready, I just need to make sure I’m in the right headspace. But what about all the women he’s been seen with?”
“What about them? And, plus, also, how would you even know if you’re ‘not keeping tabs on him’?”
“There are pictures of it all over!” I turn around and point to the round VIP area. “Right there, last week, a woman was sitting in his lap, and he lookedveryhappy. I messed up, I know. I pushed him away. So, ease off me. Maybe a rebound is what I need? Would that be so bad?” My eyes sting with the threat of tears. “Goddamn it.”
“This is what he wants from you.” She gestures to the tears welling in my eyes. “This. Just consider it, ’kay?” When I look at her, she sees the hurt and hops off her seat to hug me.
“Love you.”
