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Sincerely,
Zach Snell
What truth?
Maybe I’m out of my mind. But when I have a spare moment, I’m going to call the prison and see what I need to do to schedule a meeting with Zach.
Sometimes we have to revisit our past in order to move past it, right?
Or is this morbid curiosity?
I shove the sweaters back in the drawer and tuck the letter in the corner. I’m too tired to look for a better spot tonight.
I sink into my bed and turn off the light.
Can I do it? Sit across from that monster and listen to whatever excuses he’s come up with? What would my mom say? Would she go? Would my dad? Yeah, he probably would. So he could bribe the guards into letting him choke Zach to death.
Is it the right thing to do? Does it help Libby or me? After all this time does whatever truth Zach holds even matter? My parents are gone. Nothing can bring them back.
Am I fixating on seeing Zach so I can stop thinking about Dex? Instead of planning to visit a murderer, I should think of a way to apologize to Dex. Not to get back together—I still think I made the right decision for myself. But he deserves better than how I acted. Maybe we can somehow stay friends?
As I stare at the ceiling, longing stirs under my skin.
Loneliness.
Regret.
Great sweeping sadness pulls me apart. Hot tears scald my cheeks and run into my hair, dampening my pillowcase before I even realize what’s happening. My chest squeezes with the effort of holding in my sobs so no one hears me. I gasp and turn over, burying my face against my pillow and draw in a few ragged breaths.
How will I ever fix what I’ve broken?
CHAPTER TEN
Dex
A few days later, I’m still out of sorts about Emily. I keep tabs on her through updates from Trinity. They get filtered through Serena, so who knows if I’m getting the whole picture.
Emily took a few days off from work to take care of her sister. Libby’s home and itching to get back to school. She sent me a text to thank me for the flowers I sent. I wasn’t sure how to respond, so I just said I hoped she’d be back to one hundred percent soon—and felt like a complete asshole.
Working in the garage is keeping me sane. Well, working might be a stretch. I’m mostly banging tools around and straightening up the mess left by my brothers.
Boots scrape over the blacktop outside and I cock my head. Am I about to have a pleasant conversation or an annoying one?
“Thought I’d find you in here,” Grinder says.
Could go either way.
“Morning,” I greet. “What brings you upstate today?”
“On my way back from Emily’s place.”
I clench my jaw so hard my teeth hurt. “She doing all right?”
He nods once. “Serena’s staying for another day or so.” He grips his shoulder. “She wants to help Libby with some physical therapy.”
“This soon?”
He shrugs. “She knows what she’s doing.”
“I wasn’t implying otherwise.”
“I wanted to talk to you too.”
Can’t wait.
He clears his throat and sets his mouth into a firm line. “We’re having Lincoln’s naming ceremony—”
“His what?”
“I don’t know,” he grumbles. “Secular baptism is how Serena described it. It’s important to her.” His warning tone suggests I better not have any follow-up questions or smart-ass remarks.
I hold up my hands. “I know fuck-all about any of it, Grinder. Just asking.”
“Well, she has a place picked out—the first church she wanted wasn’t keen since we’re not married and neither of us can prove we’ve been baptized.”
“Uh, yeah, I think that’s how that works.”
He glares at me. I pity the clergyperson who gave Serena the bad news. Grinder’s probably making plans to murder them for hurting her feelings.
“Anyway, I realize it’s an awkward time, but I hope you’ll still be there as Lincoln’s godfather,” Grinder says, almost sounding apologetic. Well, apologetic for Grinder.
“Yeah, of course.” I frown at him. “What’s awkward about it?”
He stares at me for a few too many seconds. “Emily’s Link’s godmother.”
I take a long, slow, deep breath. Why didn’t I know that? “Is this your clunky way of getting us back together?”
“We asked her before we asked you, smart-ass,” Grinder says. “Is it going to be a problem?”
“No. Fuck no. I don’t have an issue with her. We’re both fucking grownups. It’s fine.” And it’ll be a good excuse to be in Emily’s space for a while. I fucking miss her.
“Since Serena’s been there for a few days, I’m sure it’ll come up,” he says. “I don’t think Emily will have a problem with it.”
“I’m still shocked you let Serena out of your sight for a few days?” I ask, ignoring his comment about Emily.
“She wanted to help Emily when Libby came home. They don’t have anyone else.” He shrugs but doesn’t seem quite at ease about the situation. “I checked on them.”
