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Hearing the words come out of his mouth, I jolt and subsequently drop the plate I was putting away. The loud crash of the ceramic plate against the tile floor echoes through the kitchen. My eyes are wide, my body frozen in shock. Thankfully he can’t see me because I know my expression would make him question everything.
“I-I don’t. Maybe it’s someone who used to live here?” I suggest once I gain my bearings, my voice not shaking with the same internal terror I feel. The words sound like a lie to my own ears. “What does the card say?”
“It says ‘Happy Birthday. Please come home,mo ghrá.’ What a coincidence. Whoever this was meant for has the same birthday as you.” He walks up beside me with a card in his hands. Flipping it over, he shrugs. “There’s no information from the sender.”
Gathering the nerve to turn around, I dry my hands and bracelet off with the towel and slowly spin to look at the table. My breath catches in my throat and I walk over to the large bouquet of flowers.Hyacinths. A beautiful mix of blues and purples bundled together.
“Wow, those are beautiful.” I turn to Greyson, who’s eyeing me suspiciously. That same look from earlier comes across his face, leaving as quickly as it arrived.
“Yeah, too bad whoever they’re meant for will never get them.” He comes to stand beside me. As he pulls me into his arms, I lay my head on his chest almost begrudgingly. His fingertips slip under my chin, tilting my face up. He leans down, pressing his lips to mine.
Declan’s face flashes through my mind and I abruptly pull away.Still no spark.
“Are you okay?” Greyson asks, reaching for me again.
I take a step back and nod. “Yeah, I’m good. I’m just tired. It’s been a long day today.”
“Here,” he says as he grabs the broom and dustpan from the pantry. “Let me clean this up.” He moves to the pile of shattered ceramic and tries to sweep it up.
“That’s okay.” I rush over and take it from him. “I can get it.” I feel my anxiety rising, causing my breathing to become more rapid. He needs to leave.Now.
His face falls and he hands me the dustpan much to his dismay. “Well, I will go ahead and head home…” I know he’s waiting for me to ask him to stay like I do sometimes, but I’m not up for entertaining him tonight. The flowers have reignited something deep in my conscience that I was trying to forget. That Ineedto forget.
“Okay, be careful on your way home,” I say as I walk him to the door. “Thank you for the food and for my bracelet.” Looking down at the bracelet, I force a smile. “I really do love it.”No, I really don’t.
“I’m glad,” he says softly, and leans down, intending to kiss my lips, but ends up kissing my cheek because I shifted. “I will see you in the morning.”
Once he’s out of the apartment, I shut the door behind him and slump against it. Sliding down the door, I pull my knees to my chest and rest my arms on them. Dropping my head I rest my forehead against my arms and take a deep breath. That’s when the dam breaks.
My heart constricts, stomach turns, and tears stream down my face as all the memories with Declan hit me like a freight train. I miss him so badly, and maybe one day I can forgive him. Afterall, I’ve been keeping a secret from him as well.
Picking myself up off the floor, I stomp to the kitchen and pick up the vase of flowers in haste. “Stupid fucking flowers!” I cry, throwing them against the wall with a defeated sob. The glass shatters and flowers fly everywhere. The shards of glass represent my heart, broken. I wish he would just let me go in peace.
As I walk to the bedroom, I glance at my watch. It’s only seven o’clock, and I let out a relieved sigh. I can still get a good run in before bed. After hurriedly changing into a pair of running shorts and a sports bra, I slip my belly band holster on and stash my CSX inside. At first I was hesitant about using this band on runs, but it has a hard plastic trigger cover that is almost impossible to fuck up inside the band itself, comfortable and practical. Grabbing an orange tank top, I throw it on and grab my headphones after slipping my tennis shoes on. This will be good for me to get away from the thoughts that have been running rampant in my head all day.
On the way out the door, I grab my keys and dump them in my pocket roughly. Just as I make it outside to the sidewalk, my phone dings with a message from Greyson.
Good night, Stel. I love you.
With an exaggerated sigh, I place my phone in my pocket and zip it closed without replying. I don’t know why he keeps telling me he loves me. We haven’t even been dating that long. There’s no way he actually loves me. I sure as hell don’t love him. Even if I did, I wouldn’t. Ican’tlove again.
“Love makes you weak.” I repeat to myself aloud quietly, setting off on my run.
Chapter four
Natalia
It’saquietnighthere in Newport, Oregon, and I pass basically no one as I make my way to the beach for my nightly run. I must say, I love being able to run on the beach at night. There’s just something about the fresh coastal air that brings a sudden peace over me. Water and waves crashing along the shores, endless hot sand, sea salt air, with birds squawking overhead. It brings refuge to my busy mind, letting me drift off like a piece of wood in the water.
Twenty minutes in, the damp hair on the back of my neck raises, and an uneasy feeling rests in the pit of my stomach. The feeling of being watched, the tingly sensation overtakes my back and legs. I know without a doubt that I’m being followed. Slowing my pace to a walk, I glance over my shoulder. I scan the beach around me, but there’s no one there. I look around the area thoroughly to no avail. It’s empty.
“Get it together Natalia. You’re just paranoid,” I mumble to myself before taking off in a run again. Baby hairs stick to my neck, but my skin prickles in warning.
The feeling of being followed subsides slightly as I make it back to my apartment. I quickly unlock the door and step inside before locking it back after me. I sag against the door for a few moments in solitude.
Pulling my shirt over my head, I toss it into the dirty clothes hamper and walk further into the apartment toward my bedroom and ensuite bathroom. After I remove my gun, I stash it away safely in the holster mounted to my nightstand that sits adjacent to my bed. Then, I put the belly band away in the top drawer.
I check over the room once more before going to the closet. After grabbing a black silky tank top and the matching black thong, I head to the shower. When I step under the warm spray, I can feel the tension leaving my body. The smell of my warm vanilla sugar body wash gives me a bit of relief from my previous panicked state.
