All the check-in processes had been completed and a keycard waited for me.
Fourth floor.
A quick elevator ride.
I walked into my room and tossed my bag to the bed.
I looked at my phone to check the time and I saw Steven’s name on the screen.
The texts he sent that I left unread.
Such a mean, little prick of a guy.
Unable to get a boner for me either.
Leaving me feeling uneasy about myself.
All the advice I would have given to anyone who told me about Steven…
I ignored it.
I didn’t want to hear a thing.
I just wanted to…
My eyes looked left to right.
It all made sense.
I was alone.
Far from anything that resembled home.
Nobody knew where I was either.
The true definition of being alone.
I told myself to cry.
No matter the feelings for Steven - real or not - there was an offering of time that had been there for so long.
Time I could never get back.
And that part hurt.
Losing time because the realest reality of all of life was that time did not last forever for anyone.
I sat down on the edge of the bed.
The perfectly made bed.
In the perfectly clean hotel room.
Somewhere in New York City.
I shut my eyes and they instantly filled with tears.
Here we go…