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“Something bad. Zayn dumped me. He’s not coming with me to NYU.” I want to tell him everything, but I can’t find the words.
Mason’s eyebrows furrow. “Damn boys, huh? Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.” He pauses for a second before he adds, “I’m so sorry, Autumn. But I know you’ll find your true love one day. I promise.” He pushes my hair out of my face and begins to rub my back. Mason is a one-of-a-kind friend. We joke that he’s a unicorn, and of course, he always specifies he’s even better in that he’s arainbow unicorn. Rainbows and all, he always makes me feel so much more confident than I ever feel on my own . . . like I’m a unicorn, too. Although most of the time I feel more like a pony that people pay for people to ride at carnivals, fairs, and kids’ birthday parties.
I rest my head on his shoulder for a while. When I finally manage to lift my head up a bit, I realize I’ve soaked his sleeve. I’m a mess. The only thoughts I have are of Zayn.Why did he change his mind so suddenly? How could he do this? I thought we were perfect. We had a plan.
I replay his words over and over again in my mind, letting it to slice my heart back open. I can’t believe he’s just . . .gone.
Mason hands me yet another tissue. I need to know thewhy. It’ll kill me to never know. A terrible thought crosses my mind. “Hey Mason, can I ask you something?”
“Um, duh. What’s up?” he asks.
“Do you think . . .” I muster up the courage to ask the question I didn’t ask Zayn. “Ugh, do you think Zayn is staying because he . . . fell in love with someone else?”
Mason wraps an arm around me. “Oh, honey. I doubt it. That boy was completely smitten with you. He adored you and everyone around could see it. There’s just no way he would’ve found someone else. And if he did, he’s a douchebag who doesn’t deserve you anyway.”
“Hmph. I don’t know. Maybe it was all just a lie.”
“I understand where your head is at right now. But girl, I know you best. You’re going to continually beat yourself up over this, forever asking yourself what you did wrong and why this happened to you. But sometimes we don’t get that closure we need. You might never find out why he really decided to stay. What I can tell you is that if he really loves you, he’ll come back. You know the saying ‘let love go and that shit might come back’ or whatever it is.”
For the first time this evening, I laugh out loud. “I’m pretty sure that is not the saying.”
He looks over at me and says, “But admit it, you know exactly what I meant.”
I nod as my mouth forms a smirk. He’s got a point.
“In the meantime,” he continues, “let’s work on you, girl. Forget about him. Need I remind you that you just graduated high school? You have a whole, unexplored road ahead of you that you haven’t driven yet.”
I know what Mason is saying is true. We just graduated high school no more than twenty-four hours ago. And he’s right that I may never get any closure from this. My chest tightens as I swallow.Stupid anxiety.
“You’re right. Ugh, but Zayn was supposed to leave after summer for college with me.” More tears make their appearance as I choke out the words, “So, what if I never see him again?” My face gets hot as my mind races at the mere thought of never seeing him again.
“Autumn, I know this will sound harsh, but . . . well, who am I kidding? You know I’m always here for that tough love. Um, but—it’s probably for the best. Just know that whatever is meant to be, will be. You’re so strong, and I promise you’ll survive without him. You’ve got me and Natalie!”
“I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you two. But Mace, we won’t be at the same school.” The words come out as a whine as more tears threaten to spill out.
“Don’t you dare start crying again. Everything is going to be fine, and you know it doesn’t matter how far apart we all are, we’re still your ride or dies.” Mason releases me from his hold and adjusts his tie. “All right, girl, I’m done being Gandhi for the evening. Let’s get you home now. Want me to walk with you?” He hops up and extends his hand for me.
Before I manage to grab it, Veronica Biltmore walks past us. She looks down at us and scoffs. “Took him long enough to realize what a nobody you are,” she mumbles under her breath as she continues to walk on by.
Mason shoots me a look as if to say,Oh hell, no!But I shake my head, signaling to him it’s no big deal.
“Ignore that bitch,” Mason emphasizes the final word, and I’m hoping Veronica is still in earshot.
I wipe my tears one last time before reaching for his hand. I let out a huge sigh. “Thanks, Mason. Let’s get outta here.” I manage a smile, thankful for him being my knight in shining armor.
When we reach my house, I’m stunned to see my sister Summer on the porch swing, reading. Probably another romance novel—that’s all she ever reads nowadays. I climb the steps to the porch. Summer looks up from her book, her eyes softening when they meet mine. She closes the book and jumps up from the swing, wrapping her arms tightly around me. I squeeze her back and my fingers entangle into her long blonde hair. The scent of her coconut shampoo fills my nostrils. Summer doesn’t let go until I pull away.
“Tum Tum! What happened? You okay?” Her voice shakes, filled with concern. As my older sister, she’s always been protective, even if she is the least serious of us. To emphasize me being the baby of the family, she nicknamed me Tum Tum; she’s the only one who doesn’t call me Autumn. And yes, my mom named us after the seasons—Summer and Autumn. She has always been asked if she had more children would they be named Winter and Spring, but she just laughs it off. I have a feeling she laughs because she’s embarrassed that the answer is yes.
I shrug. Summer’s eyes dart to Mason behind me. “Let’s just say our baby girl will be going off to college single,” he answers delicately.
Summer’s jaw drops a bit as her eyes widen. “Are you serious? What an ass!”
Mason nods in agreement before rubbing my shoulder a final time and blowing us both goodbye kisses on the way back to his car. “Love you both!” he shouts before ducking inside it.
Summer gives me a squeeze and then walks me over to the porch swing where she was sitting. Having a big sister is tough at times, but I can always depend on her to be there for me. Summer is four and a half years older than I am. She finished up college in Denver and moved back home for the summer while she “figures things out.” Summer and I are as different as day and night. She’s always living from one adventure to the next, and I plan out everything as much as I possibly can. As prepared and excited as I am for college, I’m dreading what I’ll actually do once I’m done with it. The mere thought of adulting plus all the added responsibilities of juggling a career, family, friends, and everything else overwhelms me. I quickly remind myself that it’s not the time for my usual college-anxiety spiral. I’m sure it’ll return another day.
We both take a seat on the swing, and she turns to me. “So, as much as I’m dying to know what actually happened, I’m first going to ask if you want to talk about it?”
