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“Nope.” I pull down my hair tie, releasing my long hair and allowing it to fall down my back and shoulders. I stand up, grab two more fresh beach towels, and head to the glass sliding door leading out to the patio and the beach. “You comin’ or not?” I ask, taking off my beach cover-up dress and tossing it on the couch.
Zayn doesn’t say a word but follows me as I lead us outside. With each step, my bare feet sink further into the cool, night sand.
As we get closer to the water, I stop at an open area with damp sand. It’s a little more private due to some shrubs and beach grass surrounding it. I double check to make sure no one is around and set the towels down to claim the spot. Adrenaline pumps through every vein in my body.This is one of the last items remaining on the list, I remind myself, hoping I’ll push through and won’t chicken out.
I exhale and yank off my bathing suit top. Even though it’s dark out, I can see the whites of Zayn’s eyes widen. Without a word, he takes off his bathing suit and stands there naked in front of me. I want nothing more than to peek, but I know he’d notice, so I distract myself with taking my bottoms off. I stand there naked, using my hands to cover my boobs the best I can. “Okay, I’m super anxious.”
Zayn looks around. “Nowis the time you decide to be anxious? You’re already standing their buck naked. Let’s get in the water.”
“Zayn,” I say nervously. “I don’t know if I can.”
He inches closer to me. “Listen, Autumn. A few months ago, you were terrified of life.”
I scoff. “I wouldn’t go to that extre—”
“No, let me finish,” he says sternly. “As I was saying, you were terrified of pretty much everything. You didn’t want anything to change, you lived in a bubble, and took no risks. Predictability was how you lived. And now, over the past few months, I’ve seen you overcome so much. Your fear of change, your anxiety, and your need for predictability. You’ve taken risks with this list and done things that, let’s be honest, you never would’ve done had Summer not insisted. And . . . you’ve taken a risk on me. So, say screw anxiety, and get in the damn ocean.”
My chest deflates as I exhale through my nostrils. “Okay, fine.”
“Say it,” he demands.
“Say what?”
“Screw anxiety!”
“Seriously?” I ask about to roll my eyes in the darkness.
“Yes, dammit. Say it,” he commands.
I cross my arms fully against my chest. “Fine. Screw anxiety,” I say.
“Yell it!”
“Screw anxiety!”
“Scream it like you mean it!”
“Screw anxiety!” I shout at the top of my lungs. If I said it any louder, I’d expect my fists to start beating against my chest like a gorilla.
A giddy scream escapes me as I jet towards the ocean. He follows behind me. I stop short at the water line and look back at him. He catches up a second later and pauses next to me. He grabs ahold of my hand, and we rush into the freezing cold water together.
As soon as we’re submerged up to our necks, I paddle frantically to warm myself up, and because I’m suddenly terrified of what creatures could possibly be right beneath us.
“Okay, so if I’m being real. I’m glad we did it, but now I’m freaking out again,” I admit to him.
“Come here,” he says, pulling my hand in the water and leading my body in front of his. With a final pull, my naked body presses against his. I’m instantly filled with both comfort and desire. I can feel his hand slide down against my butt and my legs naturally wrap around him. His breath slows down as I look into his eyes, visible only from the moonlight. I watch as he looks down. My breasts are pushed up against his chest. I feel him harden. A whimper escapes me. Tingles find their way between my thighs from anticipation.
He clears his throat. “Um, sorry. I can’t control the little guy.”
I try to stifle it, but I laugh. “Little, huh?”
“Oh, shit,” he says. “Hmph. How can I make him sound more badass now? How about I can’t control my . . . bald avenger?”
I laugh even harder and so does he.
“Wow, way to kill the mood, Z,” I tease.
Zayn clears his throat again, and this time gets serious. “Autumn, I want you more than anyone or anything.”
