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Moments pass that feel like forever until I finally stumble upon some words, “I’m, uh . . . fine.”
“Fine? Hmph.” He pauses for a moment, then offers, “Well, I wanted to offer my condolences. I’m so sorry to hear about Summer. And look, I’m here if you need anything. Truly.”
I hurriedly respond with “I appreciate it.” I release a small sigh, pausing to think of how to say goodbye. My chest rises as I take a deep breath. “Well, thanks so much for coming by, but it’s probably best for you to leave now. I’d like to make a good first impression to my new class and their parents.” I give him a stern look before leaning in to quietly tell him, “We can always chat and reconnect later, but notnow. This is totally inappropriate.” I want to inch away from him, but the woodsy scent of his cologne has me lingering.
His eyebrows raise. “I’m sorry, Autumn, but I can’t just leave . . .” He wraps his arm around a young, lanky girl with bangs. A student. I stare blankly trying to comprehend.“Ms. Parker, I’d like you to meet Riley.” He gestures to the girl. She looks just like him. “My big fifth grader,” he says, squeezing at her side. “She’s gonna be in your class this year.”
Wait, what?! He has a daughter? Shit. He’s got a little family now, which means he’s probably happily married. Not that I’m wishing otherwise. Good for him. It’s been almost twelve damn years for crying out loud.My eyes betray me as they travel to his left hand. No ring. When I glance back up at him, he shakes his head and smirks. At this point, Riley might call me Ms. Tomato-Faced Parker.
I quickly gain composure enough to say, “Hi, Riley, it’s so nice to meet you. Welcome! Are you excited for fifth grade?”
“Yes, I can’t wait to be in your class!” Riley exclaims with a big, sweet grin showing off a glowing smile that looks just like Zayn’s. I smile genuinely as I take a longer look at her. She certainly has her father’s big, dark eyes, too.
“Excuse me—are you Ms. Parker?” an unfamiliar voice interrupts my thoughts.Shit.It’s still Meet the Teacher Night.Snap out of it, Autumn. You’re still at work.
Without taking my eyes off Riley, I answer, “Yes, that’s me.”
I slowly turn to face the woman asking while I exchange one final glance with Zayn. His lips form an understanding smile, and he takes his daughter to find a seat.
This woman is asking me questions about the school year and telling me all about her son, but I’m still processing that Zayn is here. With hisdaughter. Who will be my student this year.
I pretend to glance at my watch and politely explain, “Well, it’s been a pleasure to meet you, but you must excuse me as it’s actually time for the presentation to begin. I’m looking forward to having William in my class this year.”
I start to head up to the front of the room. Sweat beads in almost every crevice of my body. My chest tightens, and my throat feels as though it’s closing in on itself.You can do this. Keep breathing.I take the reminder seriously and let out a few deep breaths. Focusing on breathing is a technique that often does help when the anxiety hits.God, please don’t let me have a panic attack right now. The room starts to spin as I approach the projector, just focusing on getting to the front of the room.
I turn to face the crowded room of parents, future students, and Zayn with his lovely daughter.
I put on my classroom microphone, ensure my laptop is in presentation mode, and I begin.
“Hi, everyone. Welcome to Meet the Teacher Night.”
The door closes behind me and it feels good to be back in an old familiar place—Karma Cafe. For as long as the town can remember, this local cafe has been a full-blown bar at night—a constant in an ever-changing place. I could really use a drink after searching the entire beach house for mine and Summer’s WOLO list. I thought for sure we’d kept it there so we could check some of the items off whenever we spent time together. The notebook is there, but the list isn’t. Maybe Summer ripped it out and did the items without me? I think she had already done at least half that list before she passed. She wasn’t afraid of anything. Now that she’s gone, it’s my turn. And what better way to start than with some liquid courage?
“Hey there, Autumn. Long time, no see,” Joe, the bartender, greets me.
I do a quick glance around before hanging my crossbody on the back of the barstool and taking a seat. “Hey Joe.”
Joe is in his mid-forties now, at least, with more gray than brown in his hair and mustache. He’s a short, scruffy guy, who despite his intimidating looks, always has a smile on his face. I notice the dark circles under his eyes though.
“I’m so sorry about Summer. I sure miss her around here. How ya holding up?” he asks.
“Thanks. Uh, could be better. But I’m alright, I guess.”
He nods in understanding before grabbing the bottle of Tito’s. He remembers my drink. “Want the usual?” he asks.
I take another look around noticing couples all around me engaged in conversation. “Yeah, that’d be gre—”
“Wait a minute, Missy. You know what, I’ve got ‘just the thing’ for ya.”
I hesitate but give a thumbs up to be polite. I watch as he begins concocting some type of cocktail for me, hoping it’s something I’ll actually enjoy. I shoot off a text to Mason and Natalie while I wait.
Me
Hey, I’m at Karma. You guys coming out tonight or what? I’m ready for some drinks after quite the Meet the Teacher Night.
I shove my phone back into my bag as Joe sets down a cocktail I’ve never seen before right in front of me. “What is this?” I ask.
He grins before he answers with, “I call it the ‘No Regrets.’ And you look like you’re regretting too much shit right now.”
