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“Who’s been at the door?” Mom asks. “Is it Zayn? It’s weird he isn’t here yet.”
I release a loud sigh. “No, it’s Liam. He says he wants to talk for a few minutes. Probably inviting me to his next wedding already.” I roll my eyes and cross my arms. “I told him I’d give him five minutes.”
“Oh, dear. You can tell him no if you’d prefer. He has no business dropping you like a potato and then showing up on your birthday. Especially since he’s engaged to someone else.” My mom folds her arms across her chest, and I can tell she’s getting into full-blown mama bear mode.
I nod my head and lower my arms to my sides. “It’s whatever at this point, Mom. Don’t worry, I can handle it. Be right back.”
By the time I get back to the door, I push Liam back outside so we can chat in the front with some privacy. It also assures he’ll get the message he is not invited inside and needs to leave right after our chat. When I step onto the porch, I notice he’s holding a gift in his hands. My eyebrows raise. “You got me a birthday present?” I ask.
He clears his throat. “Well, this is awkward. No, it’s actually not from me. Some guy came by and asked me to bring this in and give to you. Dark hair. Brown eyes.”
“Oh,” I say, taking the gift bag and clutching it next to me.
“You alright?” Liam asks me.
I blink the thoughts of Zayn away and answer, “Yeah, fine. Let’s sit on the bench.” I glance at my watch. “You’ve got five minutes. Go.”
He takes a seat and adjusts his coat.Why the hell is he even wearing a suit and jacket right now?The thought makes me realize I don’t miss this lifestyle of constantly trying to keep up with the Joneses.
“First, I want to start by apologizing. We ended so quickly, and it wasn’t right how I treated you. I could’ve, err—should’ve, done better. You didn’t deserve that. Hell, I didn’t deserve you.” He clears his throat. “You and I were so compatible, we didn’t take silly risks, we planned it all out. The predictability was so nice.”
My left eyebrow raises in suspicion.
“But now I’m with Leah. And nothing is predictable. She barely even wants to plan the wedding—she wants to ‘play it by ear’ and ‘wing it.’ It’s stressing me out and making me think maybe I’ve made a huge mistake.”
I bite my tongue. It’s taking everything inside of me to refrain from saying something rude and laughing in his face for suggesting he needs my blessing for him to be with some other woman. But something holds me back. I notice the worry, sadness, and fear in his eyes. That familiar fear I know so well. The fear of change.
“Liam, you and I may have been more compatible on paper, but in reality, we were just going through the motions. Adhering to whatever societal expectations we thought we were supposed to do. And honestly, as much as I hated the timing of it all since you left me right when my own sister was dying, the changes I was forced to make . . . that was the fuel I needed to change. You and I lived a surface level life. The unpredictability of life—reality—is the depth you need in order to grow.”
Liam interrupts, “But, Autumn, that’s not true. You and I were so successful. Sure, you were just a teacher, but look at what I did. The money I was making for us, the nice things we had, the traveling we got to do.”
I cringe at the wordsjust a teacher. Right now, I have to choose my battles, and there’s a bigger battle to fight here. “Liam,” I say, taking his hands in mine. “Those are all justthings. Success doesn’t always equate to more money. It certainly doesn’t equate to working so often that you never see your family. Success is accomplishing your goals and is different for everyone. That’s where we messed up. We let other people define our success and then couldn’t understand why we weren’t happy.”
“Wow, Autumn. You really have changed,” he says, taking back his hands and slouching on the bench. “So, you think I should take the risk with Leah? Be okay without a definite plan?”
I close my eyes for a moment before I tell him, “One thing I’ve learned is we can try to plan all we want, but most of the time, life doesn’t go according to the plan. And, who cares if you aren’t perfectly compatible on paper? If your hearts are, that’s all that matters.” I open my eyes and grab his hand before I continue, “Summer knew the secret to life. It’s meant to be messy, and most importantly, it’s meant to be lived. I think you should trust your heart, Liam. Love always finds a way.”
I see a tear stream down his cheek. “You’re right. I feel such relief when I don’t have to second-guess everything with a risk analysis or plan out my next five, ten, fifteen years. Seems silly when you put it in that perspective.” He stands to his feet, buttoning his jacket. “Thank you, Autumn. You’ve always been selfless, but now you’ve given me a gift on your birthday. I appreciate it.”
“Yeah, yeah, no problem,” I say, checking my watch. “Well, I better get back inside. Don’t want to keep everyone waiting on me. Bye, Liam.”
I watch him walk to his BMW. I head back inside and step towards the party, but then I see the note I left on my entryway table that Zayn gave me before I kicked him out the other day—the napkin he took from Eats & Sweets. I stare at his handwriting on it.
My dear Autumn,
In this one life we get to live, I will love you for all of mine.
Forever yours,
Zayn
I take the note in my palm and head back out the door. I sneak around in the garage to take a moment to catch my breath. Opening the side door, I peek my head in first, ensuring it’s empty. I walk in and pull the thread to turn the light bulb on. Taking a seat on a storage container, I hold the napkin up to my heart.This feels so unfair.Is Tori right? Is he just going to break my heart again?A part of me wants to run away from it all. Maybe head back to Connecticut or California or something and start all over again.
But then it hits me. I can’t even believe I’m thinking this, but . . . my hometown is home now. I don’t miss the hustle and bustle of the city. I don’t miss the constant chase to always get the next best thing. And I don’t miss living a life where I was completely unhappy, yet always making sure everyone else around me was.
My gaze drops to the shelving next to me. A lot of my mom’s stuff is here. A pair of shoes, her raincoat, and what appears to be a sleepover bag. I open it to discover some makeup, a hairbrush, a toothbrush, and toothpaste.Why would she have a bag here at the beach house? Didn’t they just use the stuff they had here or bring it over before staying?
The door to inside the house opens behind me, pulling me away from my thoughts. I turn to see my mom. She closes the door behind her and takes a seat next to me.
