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If I knew what was going through her head, I would take her hand in mine to comfort her. I’m under the impression that she’s suffered severe loneliness throughout her life, ever since she was a child.
I might have been poor as fuck until I turned twenty-three, but I had people who were there for me. From the way she describes it, Vera’s family is too emotionally disconnected and self-involved to support each other.
The fact that she’s struggling to make friends at college breaks my heart even more now that I know how badly she needs people.
“Hey, do you want to come with me to find out what kind of casing this is? I can bring you home if you need me to. You’ve had a rough couple of days,” I say, breaking the silence and drawing her back into the present.
She sits up straight in her seat, glancing over at me with that same spark of curiosity and danger in her eyes.
“Of course, I want to find out. I have nothing else in my life to occupy myself except sleeping these days. It would be a waste of time for me to try to find something more interesting than the origin of the bullets at the infamous state fair shooting.”
This type of behavior is highly unusual for someone her age, but if it gives her a break from being stuck in her own head, I can’t say I blame her.
21
Vera
“Where are we going?” I ask as Ruslan speeds down an unfamiliar road.
“We’re going back to my place. That’s where you’ll meet Yan. He’s the guy I was talking about before,” he replies.
I feel a conflicting elixir of excitement and apprehension bubbling in my stomach. I want to stay with Ruslan, especially if it’s going to keep me away from Eric. But if I thought Ruslan was a hardcore criminal, I can’t imagine meeting the John Wayne of the Russian mafia.
“Is he going to be okay with me being there? Won’t he be worried about... I don’t know, security?” I ask, glancing out the window periodically to check for police. I’ve gotten far more paranoid about the cops tailing us since we left the fairgrounds.
I’m really hoping that Ruslan’s house is far away from here.
“Maybe if you were someone else, but he trusts my judgment. He’ll know that you’re safe to have around if I bring you. And besides, Yan works for me now. He doesn’t get to tell me what to do. Sometimes I let him, but that doesn’t make him my boss.”
A subtle blush spreads over my cheeks. I know he’s talking about trust, and he’s done more than enough to test my loyalty. But there’s something about being consideredspecialby him that makes my heart flutter.
Now that we’re on our way to his house, I’m blown away by just how unpredictable and insane this night has been. I was supposed to go on an awkward date with the former love of my life, and now I’m a part of a vigilante mission to avenge Ruslan’s dead brother.
I can’t lie, it feels incredible to be a part of something so convoluted, hidden by the cover of polite society. Growing up around such stuffy people in a sleepy suburb didn’t allow for much exploration of the world around me.
It was hard enough for me to feel left out of their perfect world, as if everybody around me had been given a cheat sheet for life except for me. Having the chance to do something outlandish, dare I saybrave,is the closest thing to a second chance I’ve had in a while.
Even when I left for college, my inadequacy radiated from all around me. Everybody had gone to the same high schools, which meant that I was essentially just joining them as a super-senior with no connections.
“How far are we from your place?” I ask, struggling to imagine what kind of unthinkable luxury Ruslan has set up for himself. I’ve seen plenty of nice penthouses, but never the home of a seasoned criminal who practically bleeds money.
“Only a few more minutes. I’ll text Yan when we get there so that I have some time to give you a tour of the place. I think you’re really going to like it.”
The idea of being alone with Ruslan in his house fills me with pointed exhilaration. Even if nothing happens, the magnetism between us will be palpable. With all of the insanity that’s happened in so little time, it would be such a relief to experience something positive.
After a few minutes of winding through a lavish neighborhood, I begin to play a game with myself where I try to find Ruslan’s house before he pulls up to it. Some of the houses are cozy and reserved while others are distinctly modern, bordering on brutalist.
If I were a betting woman, I’d say that Ruslan is a fan of brutalist architecture. It suits him to live inside of a giant concrete box that costs millions of dollars.
We finally pull up to his driveway, and I have to stifle a laugh when I see how accurately I’d predicted his taste. His home is one of the few hyper-modern blocks of stone and cement, fixed with hidden dome lights that illuminate the front walkway.
“Jesus, you live here? You get to come home to this place every day?” I say, trying to temper any jealousy that might shine through in my tone.
He chuckles a bit. “Yeah, this is what breaking the law will get you in the United States. I’d highly encourage it.”
I laugh with him, and any apprehension I’d had before now is dissolving by the minute. Despite everything that’s happened, I’m excited to see what kind of environment he’s chosen to exist in.
His experience and preferences are already far more impressive than those of the guys at my school.
