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“What are you talking about?” I ask with a shaky voice.
“We’re not together Zy, I’m not about to get back into bed with you and do all this romantic crap.”
“What?” I ask in disbelief. A sudden anger overcomes me. “So what the fuck is this then?”
“Zy, what we have between us is just a release more than anything. Nothing more, nothing less, I was only looking for a good time.”
“I thought we were getting to know each other,” I retort, this time raising my voice.
“When did I ever say this was a serious thing?” she snaps.
“I… I can’t believe you. You fucking led me on is what you did. Was that all I was to you? A piece of meat for you to fuck?” I ask, fighting the aching pain in my chest.
“Yeah,” she says mockingly.
“You fucking little asshole… Get the fuck out of here! I can’t believe I ever let my guard down for you!” I yell.
“Fine by me,” she says nonchalantly, slipping the rest of her clothes on.
Somehow, her careless attitude hurts me more than when she was getting angry. Right now, I feel like a used piece of trash, tossed aside to be forgotten about. I throw the covers back.
Rising to my feet, I grab her coat off of the hook and open the front door. A cool breeze intrudes my home but I don’t care, things couldn’t possibly get any worse than they are right now. I throw her coat outside and turn to her.
“Don’t forget your fucking coat you traitor!”
“Oh quit being so overdramatic.”
I want to shout at her and make her feel the pain she’s making me feel but I just don’t have the heart. She strolls out the door, not even having the decency to look at me, let alone say goodbye. Closing the door, I rest my back against it as all the anger turns to sadness.
Burying my head in my hands, I sink to the floor, sobbing tears of misery and heartbreak.
Where the fuck did it all go wrong?
11
KYRA
Istorm away from Zy’s house with the strangest feeling inside of me. It’s as though something has just broken or has vanished, like an empty void now that I’ve ripped Zy out of my life. So much is going through me right now but I remind myself that it has to be done.
Even as I walk away, I swear I hear cries from Zy’s house. A small part of me wishes to turn back but I can’t. This plan is hard enough to execute as is and I need to stay focused every step of the way.
“This day had to come eventually,” I mutter to myself.
Besides, as nice as Zy was to me, at the end of the day he was nothing more than a tool for me to get pregnant, nothing more and nothing less. In an ideal world, things may have worked out between us, perhaps our friendship wouldn’t have ended that way… But Protheka is far from an ideal world, especially for a human woman like me.
“Gods… I sound like such an asshole, fuck…” I groan, ashamed at my actions.
Get yourself together Kyra.
I did what I had to do for my survival, no one else is coming to save me, certainly not Mosar. If he had his way I’m sure he’d happily keep me under him for longer than five years. I knew this was never going to be easy, so what if I had to rip out someone else’s heart and rip it in two? It’s a necessary sacrifice and no one is going to stand in the way of my freedom.
Despite all my internal justifications, I still cannot help but feel a shred of pity for Zy. He’s a good person. It’s a shame he’s as nice as he is… Maybe it would have been better to go sleep with some asshole, it’d definitely make walking away much easier.
Fuck it, what’s done is done. My period is a day late anyway, so that’s a good sign.
I’d only been sleeping with Zy for just over three weeks. Perhaps I’m being too eager to walk away now but I’m already making a mental note of going to see a healer tomorrow to confirm everything.
I walk by the Broken Horn Tavern, my eyes becoming fixated upon it as I pass. I’m hit then with the memories of when I saw Zy for the first time, a bittersweet smile forming across my face. I knew at that moment that I was never going to forget him. He’d reside deep inside the chasms of my mind, our time together existing like a moment of stillness in the hurricane called life.
