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I try not to let it but we haven’t even talked about if this is just a vacation thing, if it’s just a tonight thing. I have zero clue what he seesusas.
His eyes search mine as he brushes my hair out of my face. His hands settle on either side of my neck. He leans in, kissing me softly but deeply, causing those tingles to reappear.
“It’s your body so I’m not making any demands, but I would suggest, unless you want me to get you pregnant, we either use protection or you get on birth control because I have no intention of stopping now that I’ve had you.”
14
WESTON
Is it fucked that I hope she is pregnant?
I want her to be mine, but I know trapping her with a pregnancy is the most irrational and fucked-up thing to hope for. I search her eyes, trying to determine if she caught on to the fact that I’m offering. If she told me she wanted to get pregnant right now, I’d do it.
“That’s a good idea,” she says. “I’ve been on birth control in the past and it’s worked just fine with me. I’ll, um, call my gynecologist when I get home.”
I kiss her again, then swing her legs around so she can rest against my back. I wrap my arm around her, placing my hand against her belly. I feel her relax against me and I close my eyes, imagining what this would feel like… forever.
“Can I ask you something personal?”
“I don’t think it’s necessary to ask me that after the conversation we just had.” I chuckle and she sits up, turning to look at me.
“Your parents have been very nice to me, your mother in particular, but you and your father…”
“Yes?”
“You don’t seem very close?”
I’m not surprised she picked up on that. “No, we’re not. We get along fine for short periods of time and as long as we’re sticking to business topics, but that’s about it. Things were different when I was younger, but that all changed some time ago.”
“Are you an only child too?”
I nod. “I am. I didn’t realize you were?”
“Yeah, my mom had a horrible pregnancy with me so the doctors said no more. Can I ask what changed with you and your dad?”
“My parents married when they were both young twenties. My mom told me that they were like Charles and Diana, only my mother was Charles and my father was Diana.” She gives me a confused look. “My mom was in love with someone else. He was her childhood best friend; they dated in secret from the time she was around fifteen.”
“Why in secret?”
I hesitate, not because I don’t want to tell her but because it sounds so ridiculous and made up. “Both of my parents come from money, old money, especially my mom. Their families didn’t marry just anyone; they needed to be from the same class, I guess you should say. I know it sounds like elitist bullshit and it is. Pierce, my mom’s boyfriend, was the son of their family chauffeur which is why they kept things secret. She actually threatened to run away and end her life if she couldn’t be with him, but he convinced her to marry my dad so she did. I guess he told her that it was the only way they could be together because if they ran away, her family would disown her and he couldn’t be the cause of that.”
“Oh my God.” Her hand covers her mouth. “It sounds so tragic and heartbreaking.”
“It was but my mom never stopped seeing Pierce or being in love with him. I guess she tried for a few months, but she kept finding her way back to him.”
“Did your dad know?”
“I think so but he didn’t have a leg to stand on because he’s the definition of a womanizer. He had a different woman in his bed every month. For the first decade or so, he was discreet about it, but then he just didn’t give a shit anymore. That’s when things changed between us. By the time I was about ten, I knew what he was doing. I saw the way people talked, the way he embarrassed my mother with zero regard. Pierce ended up getting really sick when I was around twenty and he passed away. My mother went into a deep and awful depression. Truthfully, I didn’t think she was going to come out of it. And my father, he took it personally. He made life hell for her, had zero compassion.”
“What? Why?”
“I think because he realized that it wasn’t just an affair. Pierce was my mother’s one true love and my dad couldn’t compete with that. I think he realized that my mom never loved him and probably never would.”
“But how could he be angry after all the women he slept with?” She looks so upset and rightfully so.
I shrug. “My guess is because of power and control. My dad has resented my mom for coming from a much wealthier family than his. I think it was his way of asserting dominance over her when he cheated. He never loved the women he fooled around with, but knowing my mom loved Pierce made him angry. For about two years our home was hell. I truly thought my mom would either die or get a divorce, but one day it was like it all changed overnight.”
“Why?”
