AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“My vibrator.”
—
Reeva lay flaton the bed, on top of the duvet, going over everything again. It was so frustrating having these snippets of clues rather than the full truth. Especially when it seemed to be all about her. Her sisters seemed fine labeling their dad as aviolent man or a cheater. But Reeva couldn’t be so laissez-faire. This was her family. Her childhood. And she knew firsthand what cheating was like. Reeva sat up straight as she heard a knock at her door. The guests had left—she was trying to ignore her guilt about it being the fifth evening in a row she’d failed to attend the full prayers—and Sita didn’t believe in knocking, which meant it could only be—
“Can I come in? It’s me, Jaya.”
“Uh, okay.”
The door opened and Jaya, dressed in a black lace camisole and matching tiny shorts, tiptoed in. Reeva looked down at her own pajamas—her oversized white nightshirt had looked sexy when she’d first bought it, but it had since gone gray from too many washes, not to mention the large mascara stain on its hem—and decided to start investing in better sleepwear.
“How are you doing?” asked Jaya as she perched on the edge of the bed.
“Okay. You?”
“Fine. I just thought you might feel a bit weird after what Mum said. I wanted to see if you were okay.”
“Oh.” Reeva leaned back against the pillows. “Yeah, it’s a bit disquieting knowing it affected me the most, but I’m fine.” She paused. “I didn’t expect you to come and ask.”
“What are sisters for?”
Not stealing their boyfriends,thought Reeva.
“So, how are things going with Nick?”
Reeva looked suspiciously at her sister. They hadn’t been alone together in four years, and now Jaya was acting like they were best friends? “Fine. Why?”
“I’m just trying to be a good sister and ask you about your life!”
Reeva scoffed in response. It was a bit late for Jaya to try and be a good sister.
“If you have something to say, just say it,” cried Jaya. “I’m sick of these raised eyebrows and annoyed sounds. And it’s freaking me out that you’ve not said anything to me about Rakesh for the last week.”
“Excuse me? You’re the one who hugged me and has been acting like everything’s hunky-dory.”
“I’m just trying to do the right thing! I know, Iknow, I did the worst thing back then. But, Reeva, I tried to apologize for an entireyear.I called you the whole time. And there was that week where I kept showing up to your work?” Reeva remembered; she’d told security that Jaya was a crazy client they shouldn’t let into the building. “Then I respected your silence and left you alone. It’s not my fault Dad died and made us spend these two weeks together.”
Reeva shook her head. Wasn’t it obvious that she’d been so broken that year—a year where showering, managing to eat, and showing up to work had taken all her strength—that she’d been physicallyunableto speak to Jaya? When that year had passed and she’d started to slowly heal, Jaya had stopped trying to apologize. As though Reeva had a twelve-month window to get over her nine-year relationship, and after that, sorry, it was too late.
“Please say something,” cried Jaya. “I can’t bear this anymore.”
“Youcan’t bear this? I’m the one whose life was destroyed.”
“I know. I know. And I am so,sosorry.” Jaya looked straight into Reeva’s eyes. “That’s what I’ve been trying to say to you for the last four years.”
“You stopped trying after the first year.”
“Because I thought I was making things worse and you wantedto be left alone! If I’d known you were ready to hear me apologize, I would have hundy-p got the first flight home to come and see you. Even if I’d been at that amazing resort in the Maldives.”
“Right,” said Reeva. “Well, I never actually said I’m ready to hear you apologize. I just noticed that you’d stopped trying.”
Jaya raised her chin defiantly. “I’m trying now. And I don’t care if you’re ready or not. I’ve listened to a podcast on how to apologize, andI’mready to do this.” She cleared her throat. “So, Reeva, I am really, truly sorry about what I did to you. I have tried to imagine how I would have felt if it had been me, and I would have literally died. I will never know how bad it was for you and how much pain it caused you, but if I could take that away and experience it instead of you, I would. When you said how bad it had been for you, the other day in the bathroom, it really hit me what I’ve done. I mean, I already knew, but this time, I literallyfelt it. And now you have to sit here watching me marry him. It must be, like, the actual worst. I’m so sorry. So fucking sorry. There’s no excuse for it. I know that. I just... fell in love.”
Reeva felt her stomach churn. She hated being reminded that Rakesh and Jaya had fallen in love—it was meant to be Rakesh and Reeva who were in love. But at the same time, a small part of her felt vindicated by Jaya recognizing just how much pain she’d caused. It was the first time someone in her family had truly acknowledged the enormity of what Reeva had gone through.
“Well,” said Reeva eventually. “I wish you could have felt the pain instead of me too.”
“Totally,” cried Jaya. “I would have doneanythingto make it better.”
