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“Even give him up?”
Jaya hesitated. “Reeva. I... I’m marrying him. I hate that everything happened the way it did, but thisishappening.”
“I am very aware of that, thank you.” Reeva crossed her arms. She was ready for Jaya to leave. There was too much going on in her life right now (8.5 centimeters of it) to heal a four-year feud at the same time.
Jaya continued, hesitantly. “I know this is probably the wrong thing to say, so don’t hate me—well, more than you already do—but were you guys even that happy together? I just... I look at you now and you seem way moreyouthan when you guys were together. I know it’s a very weird time, but you still seem happier. And stronger. You even dress better.”
“For god’s sake,” muttered Reeva. “Just because I’ve been working on my personal style does not mean you get to assume I’m happier single.”
“Well, you’re with Nick...”
“That’s irrelevant. Look, I can’t do this right now. I need to sleep. Can you just go, Jaya?”
“Okay.” Jaya got up to leave, and then turned back around. “Actually, no. I’m sorry. I’m not leaving till you forgive me.”
“I’m sorry, you’re going to hijack my bedroom? Was that another recommendation on your apology podcast?”
“No. This is my idea.” Jaya sat back on the bed. “You need to forgive me. Foryou.”
Reeva looked up to the ceiling. “Please tell me this is not happening right now. I can’t deal with this.”
“Reevs. I know I’ve crossed the biggest line. I know what I did is basically unforgiveable. I’m not an idiot, even though I know you all think I am. But, like, we’re family. And if you don’t let this go, it’s going to eat you up forever. It could even cause some kindof, I don’t know, disease. I heard of people getting cancer because they couldn’t move on from stuff.”
Reeva tried not to think about her alopecia. Jaya’s theory was ridiculous. And offensive. “Are you trying to tell me I’ll get cancer if I don’t forgive you? Because that’s next-level manipulation. Even from you.”
“No! Just... please. I am so, so sorry for what I did. I hate myself for it. It’s awful. I deserve to be hated for it. I’m a terrible person.”
“Okay, you don’t need to self-flagellate in front of me.”
“What doesflagellatemean?”
Reeva shook her head. “Jaya, look, I get it. You’re sorry. I believe you. And it’s good to hear. But I can’t justforgiveyou. Too much has happened.”
Jaya nodded. “Well, maybe just accepting I’m sorry is enough? Like, properly accepting it?”
Reeva looked at her sister. She still felt so much anger toward her. But it was softening. This was the first time Reeva had heard Jaya apologize properly (and yes, she knew she was partly to blame for that), and it felt better than she could have imagined. It was nowhere near enough to make up for what she’d done, but it wasn’t often that one of her sisters tried to see things from her point of view. It felt good, vindicating. Reeva felt something relax inside her—a tight tension she hadn’t even really been aware of until this exact moment—and sighed. “Okay. I accept your apology.”
“Oh my god, thank you,” squealed Jaya. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Reeva reached out her hands to stop Jaya from jumping onto her. “Okay, calm down. It doesn’t change anything. I’m still not forgiving you; I’m simply accepting your apology.”
“No, no, of course not. Well, like, if there’s anything you need to talk about or get clarity on, I’m here. If you want to know any details for closure, just ask.”
Reeva shuddered. “I will not be doing that.”
“Oh, Reeva, I’ve been waiting for this day for so long! I can’t believe you’ve forgiven me.”
“Ijustsaid this doesn’t mean I forgive you.”
“Isn’t that, like, potato potato?”
“You’re meant to pronounce them differently. And no. It isn’t like that.”
Jaya shrugged happily. “It is to me. I’m going to take this as forgiveness. By which I am also releasing you from hating me. So you can move on too. You’re now free. Namaste.”
Reeva rolled her eyes. It was impossible to have a normal, rational conversation with Jaya. But she could feel her anger slipping away. Jaya was too Jaya to be resentful of her. She was still nowhere near forgiveness, but she was closer than she ever thought she’d be. “Fine. Sure. But let’s not make a massive deal about this, okay?”
“No, of course not,” hurried Jaya. “Whatever’s right for you.”
