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This was bullshit.
All of it was bullshit.
Unless you’re offering to take care of the problem yourself…
I still couldn’t believe I said that.
What the hell was I thinking?
You weren’t thinking. You were responding.
I pulled my pink hair into a ponytail, shaking my head to myself. Clearly, I wasn’t thinking.
I made my way downstairs and into the dining room. It was bustling with activity, activity I ignored as I grabbed a tray and got in line. Everything was on autopilot at this point; I was still in my own head, trying to figure out just how badly I fucked up with Kazu-sensei as I piled hash browns and French toast on my plate. I grabbed some milk and a yogurt before heading over to the table I shared with Felix.
It was only when I sat down did I realize Felix wasn’t alone. Next to him sat Misty, long dark hair swept up in a low bun with a matching pair of chopsticks sticking out from her locks.
“Embyrlyn,” she said fondly, setting down her fork. Her tray was filled with primarily fruit, though I was relieved to see a pastry in the corner, even if it was a small one. “I was wondering when we’d see you this morning! Are you excited about the full moon?”
The truth was, I wasn’t. In fact, the full moon reminded me of a clock counting down until the last shred of hope I had completely disappeared. Which was stupid, considering I shouldn’t even care. I had no qualms about going into the mission a virgin up until Kazu-sensei told me I shouldn’t.
And I actually believed him.
I actually listened, despite the fact that he didn’t know anything about me. Despite the fact that he had ignored me the majority of the time he knew me.
“Uh, yeah,” I said as I poured syrup over my French toast. “Yup. Definitely.”
“You look tired,” Felix said with a frown, blue eyes scanning my face.
“Thanks,” I muttered.
“What? It’s the truth. You stay up late or something?” He shoved a sausage in his mouth, though the look on his face implied he was still waiting for some kind of answer.
At least he didn’t know about the details of what happened last night. That had bothered me, the possibility that rumors would spread and people at the academy would find out. It wasn’t as though I had been subtle about things, and word spread quickly within the academy, especially since there wasn’t a lot going on right now. Even regular missions had started to dry up.
“I’m going on a mission tomorrow,” I said.
Felix snapped his gaze up, his eyes meeting mine. “Wait, what?”
“Just me,” I said. “They, uh, need my strategic expertise.”
Lie.
When had I become so good at lying?
“They’re taking you from my squad and putting you on another one?” he asked with food still in his mouth. How Misty chose to put up with it, I had no idea.
“Your squad?” I asked, perking my brows.
Felix ignored me. “How long are you going to be gone for?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. I tilted my head to the side. “Can I ask you a question?”
He blinked, surprised I would be willing to ask him anything. Which, I supposed, was fair, considering I hadn’t been interested in his opinion on much before now.
“If you had to do something to prepare for a mission, even if it wasn’t mandatory, but would probably help you on the mission, would you do it?” I asked. I stabbed some hash browns with my fork but didn’t bring it to my mouth just yet. I knew the question was vague and Felix wasn’t the brightest, but I still hoped he could give me some kind of insight.
“Honestly?” Felix set down his fork and leaned back. “If the mission was important enough, I’d do anything I can to make sure I was successful, whether it was mandatory preparation or not.”
