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“Of course,” I said through gritted teeth. Tears glassed my eyes and I looked away, blinking, hoping Kazu didn’t see.
“Say it.” Now, he was smirking. There was no mistaking it. “Say the word. What are you looking for? Someone to…?”
I wrinkled my nose, trying to figure out what he meant. “Say what?”
Now, his teeth were glinting as his smile stretched across his face. “Fuck,” he said. “Tell me you’re looking for someone to fuck you.”
“I don’t understand why this is something that’s necessary,” I said, trying to blow him off. I brushed my bangs to the side, hoping to find some excuse to leave. More and more squad members started filling the concrete, and while none lingered close enough to overhear our conversation, I didn’t want to risk it. “Who cares if I don’t say the words —“
“Not don’t.Can’t. There’s a difference.” He dropped his hands so they were back down at his sides. “You need to build up your confidence. If you want to proposition someone to have sex with you — and not only have sex with you but to give your virginity to — you need to be able to communicate what you want effectively. You’re responsible for figuring out what you want and then going after it.”
“How can I know what I want if I’ve never done it before?” I asked.
Kazu-sensei was all over the place. I tried to follow him, but I felt like I was getting lost in the ether while he spoke a completely different language I couldn’t begin to understand.
“You need someone to teach you what you want,” he said. “Someone who’s patient, who knows the way around a woman’s body. You can’t just throw yourself to the mercy of the tavern. You need to find the right person who will give you the type of experience you need, or else what’s the point?”
“I don’t have much time, Kazu-sensei,” I said. I stifled a yawn. Maybe I would skip Lit altogether and take a nap. After last night and even right now, I was starting to realize just how exhausted I was. “I’m gone tomorrow.We’regone tomorrow. And I think Rocky would have helped me.” I rolled my eyes. “But clearly, you still don’t trust my judgment. Even when it comes to my own body.”
Before he could respond, I turned and headed back to the building. I didn’t want to hear anything he might have responded with, and I definitely didn’t want to be confronted with the fact that he might not respond with anything at all.
Matthyw
“An annulment?” Matthyw’s wife threw her head back and laughed. “You can’t be serious. Is this-is this what we discussed before? At dinner, with my uncle? Does this have anything to do with your forbidden desires to bed your sister? What is it – is she refusing until you unbind yourself from me? And…and you’re indulging her?You? Are you that unhinged by her that you indulge her every – what are you doing?”
Matthyw stepped into the biting water without flinching.
Suddenly, something caught his ear – a sound.
No.
A growl.
He stood absolutely still. He had heard that noise once or twice, but had never seen it before.
Never seen the monster before.
“Matthyw?”
There was confusion in her voice.
Questioning.
He might have found it amusing if she hadn’t said what she said. If she hadn’t brought Adrya up at all.
But his bitch of a wife couldn’t help herself. She was prideful, vindictive,jealous, and there was nothing that would stop it.
He came here hoping to have a rational conversation with her. He hoped that if he presented all the ways in which their marriage was a sham, she might see reason. She might even agree with it. Maybe she wanted an annulment for herself. Certainly, she couldn’t be happy with their arrangement. Judging by her reception of him the few times a year he journeyed to see her because his brother essentially forced him to do such a thing, she was miserable. Not more than him, but enough where it was obvious.
He hoped he would help both of them by making a proposition that they jointly agree to annul the marriage.
And then she had to run her fucking bitch of a mouth.
At that point, he knew she wouldn’t let him go. He knew she’d rather stay miserable married to him if it meant that she was miserable too. There was no way around it.
He wasn’t going to get his annulment. Not in the way he wanted it.
The growling grew louder.
