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I chewed my bottom lip. “But those who do have magic,” I said, but as I tried to grapple with finding the right words, I couldn’t figure out what they were. “Is it dark magic?”
Another stupid question. I didn’t even know if dark magic existed.
“Magic itself isn’t dark or light regardless of what Light Bringers believe,” he said. “It simply is. The way one wields their magic is what makes it dark or light. ShadowSide magic is usually referred to as dark magic simply because we aren’t in control when the magic manifests, and it usually acts in accordance with a dark desire that we aren’t conscious of. But, if you’re asking for yourself, unless you had a deep-seated hatred towards Lucy, I wouldn’t be concerned about possessing ShadowSide magic.”
I wished his firmness made me feel better, but it didn’t. I shoved my hands between my thighs.
“Was there anything else?” I asked, glancing up at Barnes quickly. “You mentioned death and madness and truth.”
“Right,” he said. “If you grew up, raised to believe you possessed magic and found out you didn’t, then what? On that token, if you were raised to believe you were completely ordinary and then found out you had magic, what would that mean for you? Clearly, it would change your life, but in what way? And that truth could be the catalyst of destruction, self-destruction, and trauma.”
“Yeah, but that could be said for a lot of things,” Rainey drawled from where he stood. “We can’t tiptoe around someone just because they might be traumatized as a result. We need to assume they will, and then act accordingly. We still need to figure out —“
“I’m the one making the potion, therefore I get to decide what my focus is on —“
“You are just a human —“
“As are you —“
“The marriage lottery is doing its first draw in a week,” Rainey snapped, causing everyone in the room to be silent. The only thing I could hear from where I sat was the echo of my heartbeat in my head. “Or did everyone forget that?”
“And what doesthathave to do with giving her tests?” Byron demanded to know.
“What makes you think she’s not part of the draft?” Rainey asked.
“She’s been here a couple of days —“
“And officially registered as a student by Master Grey,” Rainey said. “That registration is basically dropping her name into the hat. We both know it. And let’s not forget there are some here who would kill to have a partner who possesses magic.”
“Testing her before the draw would indicate what she could be worth,” Barnes said.
Rainey wrinkled his nose. “Not even that,” he said. “It’s what she’s worth to others. Who would be interested in her magic. Who would marry her if they knew. We draw them out, we see who they are —“
“This again.” Barnes rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. He angled his torso to Byron. “Please tell me you didn’t fall for this. Everyone knows he’s looking for any excuse to get rid of King and his family —“
“Not Taskier,” Rainey put in. “Taskier’s a smartass but he’s fine. It’s Viktor and his little shit of a kid I’d rather drop off a cliff if I could.” A beat. “Matthyw, I mean. Not Adrya.”
“And you think testing her for magic —“
“You told me the tests wouldprotecther,” Byron snapped. “Not use her as some kind of bait in your own damn game.”
Barnes whirled around and glared at Byron. “And you believed him?”
Rainey didn’t seem ashamed in the slightest.
“Everyone knows what happened to Cassandra, and no one has done a damn thing about it,” he said through clenched teeth. “I know Viktor used her and then disposed of her —“
“She was in love with him,” Barnes said. “Anyone with two eyes could see it. Stop deluding yourself. When she realized Viktor couldn’t love anyone but himself, she left. He didn’t kill her. He didn’t —“
Before Barnes could finish, Rainey’s fist connected with his nose. I nearly fell off the bed while Byron positioned himself in front of me. I frowned at his back, wishing he wouldn’t do that. I didn’t need him to protect me from anything, especially since it felt like I was a burden to him already.
“You don’t knowanything,” he said. “You hide in your little apothecary lab and mix concoctions up, but the truth is, despite your intelligence, you know shit about what it’s like to be human. Whether you’re a human who can shift or not, it doesn’t matter. You’re a cold, loveless bastard, and that’s all you’ll ever be.”
“Better that than living in some kind of delusion of your own creation,” Barnes remarked. He seemed completely unperturbed by the entire thing. His fingers grazed the skin of his jaw where Rainey hit him, but besides that, he didn’t seem angry. Maybe mildly annoyed. “You’re pathetic, Rainey. And until you see the truth, that’s all you’ll ever be.” Barnes looked back at Byron. “If she wants the potion becauseshewants to know the truth before the drawing, send her to me before you leave for the full moon and we’ll do it. But I’m not doing this for him.” He jerked his chin in Rainey’s direction before leaving the room.
There was a heaviness in the air. No one spoke. No one even moved.
I couldn’t see Byron’s face but I saw his shoulders hunch slightly. His muscles tightened. I wasn’t sure if he looked at Rainey or the floor in front of him, but his focus wasn’t on me, and I was glad. He seemed furious. At least, that was what I felt from him…as strange as it seemed.
