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“It’s because you knew… You knew if you called me a whore, or a slut, while I was doing something whore-y, it would hurt.”
“Yes.” That was true, but it wasn’t the full truth.
“How?” she asked.
He shrugged. “Good Dom instincts. Experience. The look on your face. All possibilities.”
“We just met, and you realized something they—” She cut herself off.
“Ah, good. We’re here. I’ve been waiting for this part.”
“What part?” She’d hunched her shoulders and was no longer looking at him.
“Your sub origin story.”
That startled a laugh out of her.
He smiled, relieved that he could make her laugh, could keep her rooted and safe both physically and emotionally.
“My sub origin story.” She was grinning.
“Someone hurt you.” He ran his hand up her back, slid it under her hair, pulling the dark strands out from under the blanket. “Someone taught you to hate your submissive needs. Did such a number on you, here—” He touched her temple. “—that you were angry at, and secretly scared for, other subs.”
Her smile faded, but she didn’t retreat into herself.
“I didn’t approach it, this, right.” She gestured to the club around them. “I tried to add D/s to a vanilla relationship.”
“Your boyfriend wasn’t into it, and made you feel bad? Called you names.”
“Not the first one, that was the second one. And yes, like a dumbass I tried it twice. After that, I learned.”
“So what did the first one do?” He kept his tone light, fighting to hide the rage he was feeling towards these unnamed men who had dared to hurt his lover.
Emphasis onhis. He was feeling seriously possessive.
“He was willing to try. He spanked me, used a plug, a little bondage, but he wasn’t into it.”
That wasn’t what he’d been expecting.
“He would…he would lose his erection halfway through the scene. He’d ask me exactly what I wanted. He’d do things wrong, not on purpose, but just because he wasn’t thinking about it…didn’t care enough to have planned or read anything. Maybe if I’d taken us to munches, or demos at clubs…”
She took a shaky breath, and he tugged her closer, pressing a lingering kiss to her temple. He felt sad for the woman she’d been, who’d opened herself up to a partner, exposed something raw and vulnerable only to have it fall flat.
“I could just tell it was a chore for him. That his mind was usually elsewhere. I mean that was a problem in our relationship from the start. He was brilliant, worked at JPL, but not good at practical stuff. Not good at planning and executing non-academic things.”
“So you had to play both parts in the scenes. The Dom and sub.”
“I’d always thought of it as being forced to top from the bottom, but…you’re right. I really was the Dom.” She was quiet for a moment. “I remember this one time I was just in the mood, you know? I don’t even remember why. Maybe I’d read a sexy book, or seen something hot, but Ineededhim.”
“Needed to scene with a Dom,” he countered.
“Probably more accurate.” Autumn snuggled against him. “I put on lingerie—one of those strappy harnesses, no underwear, and a robe. Not a fluffy robe, a sheer black one. Totally see through. I lay on the bed, and just waited. By the time he came in I was so fucking turned on. In my head I could pretend that the waiting was the first part of the scene. That he was making me wait so I’d be ready.”
Daniel’s imagination painted a vivid picture of her like that, but in his mind the bed she was on was his. “Then he walked in, put you on your knees, spanked you, fucked you from behind but didn’t let you come. Then he spread you out on the bed. Tied you down so you were helpless, and played with you for hours.”
“Is that what you’d have done?” she asked in a small voice.
“It would be a good start.”
