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20
“Love comes in many forms, often unsaid and underappreciated.” - Bex
The hallway in Nana Noel’s grand foyer is made of marble and heirlooms. Paintings and random art pieces fill her walls. The further you get into the house, the less museum it appears. The paintings are exchanged for family photos of all generations and warm, colorful prints everywhere.
My favorite piece of cookware is in her kitchen, sitting on the counter. I’ve stolen it countless times over the years in hopes she’ll give up and let me have it, but she always manages to get it back when I’m not home. From a distance it looks like a pot of porcelain cacti on the counter, but upon closer inspection it’s a holder of measuring spoons in the shape of cacti. The pot itself is marked inside for different measurements of cups. I absolutely love it, too stingy to drop the money for my own, but one day I’ll win her over.
Unfortunately, Thorin came over instead of waiting with me to change clothes, because he wanted to speak with my father for some ungodly reason. I make my way into the kitchen, narrowing my eyes as I spy Nana Noel, my father, and Thorin all sitting around the table speaking in hushed tones. When they spy me, they stop talking altogether, though Nana Noel gifts me with a large smile.
“Finally! I was beginning to think you ran away,” Nana Noel chimes as she stands. She’s wearing a pink outfit better fit for a church function than Sunday dinner, but I don’t say anything. “Come along now, get out of there.”
I roll my eyes, knowing damn well she knows I was sliding closer to the cacti measuring spoons. Maybe I can have Thorin distract her so I can nab them before we leave. “I’m coming, I’m coming,” I mutter, exiting the kitchen into the dining area. “What are we having?” I kiss the top of her head and move towards the open seat beside Thorin. He’s wearing a light gray suit today, far understated than his typical clothes, but he still appears as if he’s going into a board meeting. I should have warned him that we’re not usually this dressed up. Considering I’m wearing a dark gray long sleeve dress and boots, wedoappear very dressy.
The table is decorated with fall leaves, a platter of mashed potatoes, a boat of gravy, and some sliced turkey with large ciabatta rolls steaming beside them. Apparently we’re having a preemptively early Thanksgiving two weeks ahead of schedule.
Thorin smiles tightly at me, reaching to grab my hand on my thigh. Uh-oh, something’s wrong. Before I can lean into him to ask why he’s looking at me that way, my father clears his throat to gain everyone’s attention.
“I would like to make a statement,” Dad says, his eyes briefly flickering from Nana Noel’s to mine. He’s in a red sweater and jeans, far from classy like he usually is. Between his clothes and the expression currently marring his face, my anxiety rises to new heights. “I paid off your student loans, Bexley.”
He…what? I’m pretty sure my mouth fumbles open, but I can’t even make a sound. My thoughts begin to spin as I try to figure out what kind of joke this is. He’s aware King is paying a portion of them, of that I have no doubt. “I’m sorry?” I don’t understand what’s happening right now.
Dad sighs, his gray hair barely moving as he shakes his head. “I wanted to tell you now, but you’ll be receiving a call tomorrow at some point explaining that the debt has been wiped clean.”
“And your father is helping set up a payment plan for me to continue paying my medical bills on time without having late fees,” Nana Noel chimes in. She looks…proud of my father. “Aggie is adding it to her calendar to call me, so you don’t have to pay anything anymore sweetie.”
“But–” I stop myself because I have no idea what to say. But one question comes to mind. “Why are you doing this?”
Dad looks from me to Thorin, before my boyfriend sighs, squeezing my hand and jumping into the conversation.
“I went to your father,” Thorin explains. “I told him I intended to pay off your debt myself. I want to be with you, but I don’t want you thinking that you’re being used. I told your father this, because quite frankly, it should be him paying for this. You’ve busted your ass and put a dent in your loans yourself, but I know you were there with the money your mother set aside for school, wanting to graduate the same place she did, and he withheld it from you.”
“So you bullied my dad into paying for it?” I ask incredulously.Unbelievable.
“Of course not,” Dad scoffs, regaining my attention. “Thorin fed me the same home truths your Nana Noel has for a very long time.” He rubs his weary hand over his face. “I’m sorry, Bex.”
An apology is the last thing I ever expected to hear.
“I wasn’t mad at you, not really,” he pushes on, forging ahead while my brain and heart scramble to keep up. “It felt like I was losing a connection to your mother when you changed majors, and I know how foolish that sounds now, but it’s the truth. And I never meant to make you feel like I didn’t love you or didn’t care about what you were doing. I spiraled so far out of control with my grief, I didn’t know how to be around you anymore without making things worse.”
This all feels like it’s coming out of nowhere, but I turn to look at Thorin’s face. He isn’t surprised by anything my father is saying which means he knowsexactlywhat my father’s supposed reasoning is. When I turn to look at Nana Noel, she doesn’t appear shocked either. Anger rises swiftly at the implication that I’m the last to know what’s going on when it solely surroundsme. “So you apologized to everyone else first?”
“Oh no, dear,” Nana Noel cuts in. “Your father doesn’t apologize to anyone. He’s apologizing toyou, however. I understand this is a shock, it is for the rest of us as well. I had no idea Thorin went to your father or his intentions. And your father briefly explained he would like to say his piece before you bolt after eating like you typically do.”
I turn to Thorin again, still angry but more weary than anything. I want to believe everything I’m being told right now, for the sake of my sanity, but it feels like I’m about to witness the other shoe drop, cracking the rest of my heart into unfixable pieces. “Why would you do that?”
Thorin raises the water glass to his lips, seeming far calmer than possible for this conversation. “Because I care about you and I want you to not have any worries.”
“But it’s a lot of money,” I choke out, my throat tightening as I try to talk. “You shouldn’t have done that. If it weren’t for you going to Dad, he wouldn’t even be apologizing right now. Nothing would be changing.” I understand Thorin’s reasoning, wanting us on even footing for this relationship, but this feels like too much. Do I want to repair my relationship with my father? I don’t know. It’s been so long with so many emotions, I have no idea how to navigate this.
I want Dad to apologize to me because he suddenly realizes how impactful his behavior has been to me, not because my boyfriend gave him the option to enter my life when he wouldn’t have otherwise.
“You’re wrong,” Dad suddenly announces. “At least partly wrong.” He shifts in his seat uncomfortably. “There’s a contract in place for when you turn thirty that any remaining student loans will be paid off. It also officially documents you as the next CEO of Hastings Center, as well as your right to join the Hastings Humanitarian Award Committee as long as you’re employed at Hastings Center then.” He turns his gaze towards Thorin. “Your boyfriend didn’t know about that when he came to me, though.” True to his word, I spy Thorin’s eyes widen slightly at Dad’s confession.
“I don’t understand. You don’t like me working for you.” Why I’m trying to argue the point is beyond me, but it doesn’t feel real.
Dad’s brow furrows in genuine confusion. “What makes you think that? You’re one of the best speech writers we have and you edit documents far better than anyone on my personal team.”
I blink several times. “But I’m not on your personal team.”
