AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Fuck, I should write this down.
But who wants to listen to a song like that?
My tattered backpack sits next to me, the same backpack that’s been to chemo rooms and then to France. I packed everything I had brought to Ronan’s in a rush after he sent me out of his office. A pile of dirty clothes, my makeup bag, and my journal. I’m sure I left stuff behind, but some leggings and bodywash are the least of my concerns compared to what else I lost—the pieces of me I left with him.
I can’t think about him. My mind won’t let me go there.
His warm smile. The way his soft hands felt on my body. The comfort of his touch on my back. And the intoxicating scent of his cologne.
Him.
And just like that, I’m thinking about him. I don’t even feel the first tear start to brim in my eyes before it falls. Maybe if I let my mind replay all the things about him that I love, then it will eclipse the way he looked when he told me to leave. The expression of disappointment on his face, and how all the love was gone as he stared at me with anger.
No, erase that.
Keep the good stuff.
Reaching into my backpack, I pull out my notebook and mindlessly flip through. Notes and lyrics scribbled messily onto each page. Memories unlocked on every line. I can practically smell the croissants in Paris. The aromatic espresso they served in those tiny cups.
His hand on my knee under the table.
I wish I could write that feeling into a song.
Unable to string together a coherent line of words, I flip to the next page. And there it is.
The lines he scribbled for me. The poetry he wrote…for me.
I gasp for breath before closing the book.
I hurl the journal across the van. Without much space to fly, it slams into the back window and falls, pages crinkling on its way down. I throw myself face down onto my pillow, and I scream like a child. I wish I never got on that stage in the first place, so I would have never known what it’s like to be loved by Ronan Kade.
RULE #37: A MAN ISN’T RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HAPPINESS
Daisy
Nine years ago
“Daisy,” my dad calls from the bottom of the stairs, “your mom’s here!”
I hear their muffled voices talking as I jump up from the spot on my bed, where I was watching an old episode ofJudge Judy. In a rush, I grab my backpack from on top of the bed and barrel out the door of my room and down the stairs.
The moment I spot my mom standing on the welcome mat, the first time I’ve laid eyes on her in six weeks, I can tell something is different. She’s tanner than normal, for one thing. But she’s also wearing an expression of immense relief when she sees me.
I sprint through the foyer, past my dad, and slam into her, wrapping my arms around her as she engulfs me in a tight hug. She squeezes the life out of me, nearly lifting me off my feet, although I’m just as tall as her now.
“Daisy Moon, I missed you!” She squeals in my ear.
For the first time all summer, I feel at ease. I love my dad and I like spending summers with him, but I hate being away from my mom. There’s no one else on earth that I can talk to so easily. I love my friends, but I doubt I’ll ever meet anyone who makes things as effortless as she does.
It was always like this with us. Like we shared the same soul. She could yell at me one minute and then laugh with me the next. My dad tries to be as comfortable with me as she is, but it always feels forced, so I figure she and I are just special.
“Did you have a good trip?” I ask after finally pulling away.
One of her arms remains around my shoulders, squeezing me as she nods. “California is hot, and the beach was nice, but I missed my girl.”
“I missed you too.” I wrap her in another hug.
“Why don’t you say goodbye to your dad, and then you and I can go school shopping. We need to get you ready for middle school.”
