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I hoped so.
I worked my butt off that weekend, but I was hanging out with Mum every chance I had. Around that, with everyotherchance I had, I was enjoying audio and ebook filth from red hot online recommendations. I convinced myself that book heroes were plenty good enough, burying myself in fantasy and nothing more as I stayed away from saviour Julian, checking he was out of sight every time I left the apartment. I resisted the urge to look up at his window and see if he was standing there smoking, and I tried to keep my thoughts clear of him, because he was just the man upstairs and nothing more.
Mum did ok with picking herself up. Within a week she was smiling and sitting at the table with me for dinner. She was back at work, and enjoying TV, and she even got her crochet kit out to make a hat for cute little Ramsay. I loved seeing her like that, grinning when a show made her laugh. I’d sit and laugh along with her.
I prayed this time it would last, and she’d settle into a life which didn’t have Scott in it, but within three weeks she seemed to be getting preoccupied, messages pinging in constantly on her phone. She always tilted the screen away from me when she opened them, so it became obvious. As much as I hated it, it had to be him. There had been no begging from Jayden in days, and he’d been keeping his distance, since his dad clearly didn’t need my help anymore.
“Don’t do it, please,” I said to Mum before I left for work on Friday evening. But my words were wasted. She was already dressed up in her Zaza’s purple dress.
“Don’t do what?” she asked, and that sealed the deal for me. Her pretend ignorance confirmed it.
I was almost out of the door when she cleared her throat in the hallway.
“Me and Trish will probably be hanging out here late tonight, so maybe you could stay with one of your work friends? You haven’t seen them in ages. Or your college ones. How about them?”
She was clutching at straws, because I hadn’t been around the pizza house gang for months now on a night out. And as for my college friends, well. I barely even knew what they did on the weekends.
“I’ll come home,” I told her. “Don’t worry, I’ll have my book on, like always. I’ll set the volume up high.”
She looked so uncomfortable it hurt.
“You’ve got work so early though…” she tried. “I’d hate to keep you up like that.”
“I’ll be fine,” I said, and left her behind.
I had ten unread messages when I left work and set off for home later that evening. All of them came with a warning.
It’s going to be loud here, love, sleep over somewhere.
Go out and have fun, Rosie, and get an early night somewhere else.
We might not hear you. It’s going to be a loud one.
On and on they went.
I didn’t reply, anger already rising as I marched up the street. I dashed up the stairs to scope out just how far the situation had gone, but when I turned my key in the lock the door stayed shut. I elbowed it, but it didn’t shift an inch.
It was bolted.
“Mum!”
The music turned up louder, and I could have burst into tears on the spot.
She was probably dancing around the living room with the guy who made her life hell. I was so enraged I could have killed him. He was that pitiful, it made me feel sick.
Another message pinged through to my phone, which almost drove me crazy. If I’d had more strength, I would have kicked my way in there.
You could head over to Jayden’s tonight, sweetheart. He’d love to see you and could make up the spare bed. Or go to Trisha’s? She’s only down the hall. x
She knew I knew Scottie was in there, but she didn’t care. She was so desperate for attention, so needy for someone to love her, that she’d rather shunt me aside than tell him goodbye.
I didn’t want to go to Jayden’s, and I didn’t want to hang out with my pizza friends, or my college friends, and I definitely didn’t want to sculk down the corridor to Trisha’s place. She’d have been in on Scott worming his way back into Mum’s heart from the very first message.
I slid to the floor with my back to the door, fighting back the tears, because I didn’t want them. I needed to be the strong one, not the hurt one. Mum would have plenty of hurt coming her way.
I put my earbuds in, but tonight books meant nothing to me. I had my eyes closed for ages, trying to focus, and must have been there for way over an hour when I felt a shadow over my face.
I tugged myself free from audio, heart suddenly racing when I saw just who it was. His tie was loose, and his hair was ruffled, and I could smell the whisky right the way down from the floor.
