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I jammed a selection from my wardrobe into a bag without care. Some tops, some jeans. Socks, bras, knickers. I didn’t even bother to close my bag, I was so desperate to get out of there. I checked that my room looked the same and I hadn’t ransacked it in desperation, grateful that I was still in time to get back upstairs before Mum stepped through the door, because I wasn’t ready to face her yet. The questions would be way, way harder to field in person. She knew me far too well.
I sighed with grateful relief when I closed the front door behind me, just in time to escape without Mum catching me. I was charging across the hall to the ascending stairs when I heard Trisha’s door opening. My lovely neighbour stepped right on out before I had the chance to get out of sight, bouncing Ramsay in her arms.
Oh, my fucking life, it was the worst possible timing.
Fuck.
Our eyes met.
There was no avoiding the obvious. I was standing there like a criminal with my hand on the banister rail and a bag of half spilling clothes on my shoulder, and she looked at me with piercing eyes.
“Where are you off to?” she asked.
What could I say? I was on the spot, floundering. I couldn’t sayI meant to go downstairs, not upstairs,so I faked a grin, hating how much I was lying. I blustered, struggling.
“I thought I’d call in on Bertie upstairs. I heard he was struggling a bit with his crutches, so I thought I’d ask him if he needed anything from the shop on my way back from college.”
She looked at the bag on my shoulder.
“College. Right.” Her eyes were so suspicious they burnt. She turned back to her door to lock up, and I used the chance to give her abye, catch you later, before I kept on climbing, but I didn’t get far before her voice sounded out again. “Bev said you quit the pizza place. Weird you didn’t tell her, don’t you think?”
I turned back around to face Mum’sbest friend. “Yeah, I did quit. It was interfering with college.”
“Right, sure. Does this Jenny girl hang around with you at college, then? I thought she was from the pizza place.”
“No, Jenny isn’t from college.”
“So, where’s she from? Is she local?”
I hated how Trisha felt she was entitled to know everything in the universe. She was a curtain twitcher at the best of the times, and a gossip about every single person in Crenham Drive. I knew that whatever I said would be around the estate within hours, so I opted for another lie, feeling like an asshole, but I daren’t even think about telling her the truth.
“Dine’s Green. She’s from Dine’s Green.”
“Really?” Trisha said. “I know a load of families in Dine’s Green. You’ll probably have seen them around. I’ll ask them to take care of you, don’t worry.”
Her smile was so fake that I knew I was doomed. She’d likely be messaging people from the very moment she had her phone in her hand, and I didn’t have anything to say. I was already dug deep into a hole of my own lies that I couldn’t get out of. So I baulked. Bailed. Bought myself some time.
“I’d better get up there to Bertie,” I said. “I’ve got college soon.”
“Yeah,” she replied, with another fake smile. “You’d best get up to him. Say hi from me.”
Trisha didn’t give a shit about Bertie. Thank fuck nobody really liked her in this place. He’d probably tell her to get lost if she went calling. I just prayed she wouldn’t snoop that far. At least uncovering theno Jennyin Dine’s Green would take a little bit longer.
I bounded upstairs with anothersee you later, but kept my back pressed tight to the wall around the corner, just out of view, until I made sure she’d left the place. I heard the main door slam closed downstairs, and the true force of our conversation fully hit me. Trisha was onto me…
And so was Mum.
With Trisha fuelling the fire, I had no chance of maintaining the secrecy. I felt sick as I let myself back in to Julian’s, hating how our cocoon of a life was going to be shattered to pieces. It was only a matter of time.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he called out from the kitchen, and I went in to find him pouring out the last of the muesli between two bowls. “I think we’ll be on the remains of my crappy pre-made pasta soon. We’re almost out of decent supplies. At some point I’m going to have to step out of here.”
He caught sight of my bag, with the clothes thrown inside. He mistook it for being a good thing, his face lighting up.
“Excellent. Feel free to use the wardrobe. There’s plenty of space in there.”
If only he knew…
Shit. I’d have to tell him.
