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But there were other children, those not as lucky as Ben, whose lives were in danger, and I didn’t have to know the specifics to understand the horror of human trafficking. I wanted to do my bit. However, Ethan was right about what he said about Ben. He was safe here, and I was his dad, but…
What about the other children?
Ethan relaxed his arms, forcing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “It’s a simple decision for me to go back, it’s a simple decision for me to do it alone.”
“It might besimplefor you, but it’s not about you. What if you go back alone and something happens to you?” I couldn’t vocalize the fears in my head, but they started and ended with him dying. “I want Rouxier away from Ben. I don’t want any chance of him being Ben’s stepdad. And I don’t want any more children to be hurt.” My voice hitched with emotion. The thought of a child the same age as Ben being terrified, forced apart from family, made my heart hurt.
Ethan took a step away from the wall at the same time as I stood up and for a long while we stared at each other—him confident, me a freaking mess—then he opened his arms, and I walked straight into them, and held on tight. He was so reassuringly solid to touch, and I realized how much I was invested in all the sides of Ethan. Lover. Protector. Everything in between.
He was becoming something too important for me to avoid in any decision I made.
“I’m falling in love with you,” I blurted.
He nodded. “I said you and Ben were everything to me. I meant it.”
I gripped his T-shirt. “I wish this wasn’t happening. I wish you didn’t have to go.”
“It’s who I am,” he said after a pause. “I’m going to get myself an audience with Danvers, not at the office, enough to work my way back in,” he murmured close to my ear. I didn’t have it in me to argue because I knew he was right. “I’ll say that Sanctuary was adamant that you be taken away from me, along with your son, the exact moment I attempted to take you out of the equation and release Ben to Rouxier for a cash amount.”
Jesus, that thought was terrifying. Thank god that Ethan was on my side.
“And what if Danvers takes you in, locks you up, and that’s it?”
“That’s a chance I’m gonna have to take.”
“No,” was all I had.
“I promise you that Danvers will jump at the chance to have me on his side. Over the past few days, I’ve been working with Sanctuary to build an impressive résumé of things in my past that make me a very attractive proposition.”
“You sound like you knew you were going to throw yourself into this.” I clung to him, not wanting to let go.
He sighed again as he hugged me close. “It’s my job.”
“Fuck.”
He eased me away from him and cradled my face. “I can’t pretend that nothing is happening outside our bubble.”
“I know. I’m not pretending either it’s why I want to—”
He kissed me with gentle care, and I leaned into the kiss.
And itwaseverything.
When he pulled back, he was becoming lessmy Ethanand more Special Secret Agent Masters, or whatever his title was now.
“Kayden and his team will leak information,” he began. “Fake payments into offshore accounts, and contacts with cartel members. Anything to imply that I’ve gone rogue, enough for Danvers to see anyway.”
“So, you’ll be the bad guy to everyone else?”
“With Sanctuary at my back at all times. Look, I don’t have all the answers, but I’ll be able to handle it better knowing that you’re staying here with Ben, and that someone will be here to protect you at all times.”
“When will you go?”
He shrugged a little. “Soon. Maybe. And when I come back, and this is all done, we can start all over again.”
What if you don’t make it back?
I didn’t ask what was on the tip of my tongue, instead I buried my face into his shoulder, and wondered when the world had become so mad that I’d fallen in love with someone and then lost them all at the same time.
