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Hishand covers mine as he turns his head and kisses my palm. “Iknow you’re hurt, but don’t cut me out of your life.Pleaselet me stay.”
Hell!Hefucking breaks me open likeI’ma fragile bubble lost on the wind, only to land among thorns.
Irelent, butIcan’t face him right now.Idon’t want to talk anymore, soIcrawl into bed and roll over to face the wall.Ihate to admit how his weight on the mattress, and his warmth against my back, comfort me.Idon’t even fight it when he drapes his arm and a leg around my body.I’mgrateful he never took the time to put on a shirt.Iwish the same were true for his jeans.Ineed the feel of all of his skin on mine.
Still, even now,I’mdeluding myself about what we have between us.HowcanIstop needing him…wanting him?
Ihave to in order to save myself because, in the end, that’s allI’llever have—myself.
2
Rachel
Ilet the water run cold over my face that’s swollen and chapped from tears.Myhead is swimming from the lack of sleep.AllIdid last night was cry into my pillow, trying to stifle the sound of my pain, because no one is hurt more thanLuke.Myhand molds over my belly.
“I’mso sorry!”Isay through my tears.Iwant this baby.HowcanInot?Whattype of person wouldIbe ifIdidn’t, but the circumstances are devastating.Yetagain,Ihave screwed up everything and caughtLukeandEvanin my destructive tornado.
Myknees give, forcing me to kneel on the floor of the shower.
Ican’t hopeLukewill understand.Thereis no hope for our love.Inever should have…
Nevershould have…
Sorrowoverwhelms me.Nomatter how muchIshouldn’t have…Ihave no regrets for lovingEvanandLuke.Iwas allowed to feel the rarest of emotions and have it returned to me, twofold.
Suckingin deep breaths,Iattempt to regain my composure and concentrate on finishing my shower.Mymind is in a haze asIdry off and wrap a towel around my body.WhenIopen the door,Evanis sitting with his back to the door, blocking my exit.Hejumps to his feet and takes me in his arms.
“Iwon’t pretendIdidn’t hear you crying.”
Iswallow the lump in my throat and breathe in his scent.Hesmells freshly showered.He’schanged into sweatpants and a t-shirt.Icling to him because his warmth and strong arms are so comforting.Fuck,ImissLukebeing with us.
“I’msorry,”Iwhisper asIlean into his arms.
“I’vegot you.”
Evanis my strength and my rock.Igive in to him, and he takes me to the bed, lying down with me.Thetowel wrapped around my hair falls apart.Hepulls it free and rolls my body against his.Hislegs intertwine with mine as he rocks me in his arms.Closingmy eyes,Ilose myself in the gentle movement.Myhands are clutching his shirt, twisting it in my fingers.
Thecool air elicits chills on my damp skin.Helets go and pulls the blanket around my body as he promises again that he has me.
Notonce doesEvanstop rocking me.Hisbody heat envelops me under the blanket.Ifeel small against him, tiny and weak, but safe.Hislarge hand is cradling my head.Itry to gather the courage to ask him aboutLuke.Ineed to know he is okay, that this hasn’t hurt him as much asIthink it has, butIfind it impossible.
Evan’sheartbeat is strong under my cheek.Itis a soothing sound.Iconcentrate on the rhythm, wanting to remember it.
“Heleft.”
Thosetwo words are like stab wounds to my heart. “Where?When?”
“ShadowThorne.Early, beforeIwoke up.”
Thenews is sobering.
“Hewas so angry last night.”
“Angry?”Iask wanting more details
Evanswallows. “Angryat everything and everyone.Heeven pushed me away.Saidhe was done waiting on me to reciprocate his feelings.”
Hisvoice cracks, andIfeel how much this is sending shockwaves through our bond.
