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I swallow hard. “I’m so sorry, Derek.”
“I’m the one that’s sorry,” he says. “I ruined all of this by giving in to my baser instincts.”
I wonder if Derek has any idea how much it hurts me that I was just a lapse in his judgment. I look away from him.
“We all make mistakes,” I say. “Just give me a good reference, will you?”
“I’ll give you a glowing recommendation,” he assures me.
“Good,” I mutter, and after a few awkward glances, he leaves.
My mother comes in right after and I’m breathing hard, fighting back tears.
“Honey, what's wrong?”
“I don’t know,” I say miserably, even though I do. It’s like I’ve found this little family that I so desperately want to be a part of, and I’m being forced out.
She chuckles. “I remember being hormonal with you. The first baby is always the hardest.”
“Yeah?” I asked, wiping at my eyes irritably. “I feel like I’m crying all the time.”
“I cried every day when I was pregnant with you,” my mother explained. “It’s hard, being pregnant. You’ve got all these emotions on top of the hormones.”
I nod slowly.
“Everything’s going to be okay, Kenna. We’re going to help you, father or no father.” She wrinkles her nose. “When you’re all better, you’re going to tell me about him.”
I smile weakly. “Okay, Mom.” That would at least give me time to cultivate a lie. There’s no way I’m telling them that Derek Ledderman is my baby’s father. I might tell him, because he has a right to know, but no one else needs to know whose this baby is but mine. Especially since I’ll be moving so far away.
“Are you still planning on going back to school?”
“Yes,” I say firmly. “I’ll be able to go to classes up until my seventh month or so, and then I’ll take some time off.”
“You’ll come home and let us take care of you?” she asks.
“I think I will,” I admit, tired and emotional and taking the comfort she offers.
She hums and runs her hand through my hair. “We’ll get through it, baby girl. We always do.”
Tears threaten at the backs of my eyes again. “I know, Mom. Thank you.”
“You’ve always been such a good girl,” she muses. “I’m surprised it took you this long to rebel.”
“I wasn’t rebelling,” I argue. “I’m a grown woman.”
“It’s hard to think of you that way,” my mother says. “You’ll see, when you have your baby.”
“I guess I will,” I muse, thinking of Maggie and how I would feel if she got pregnant as a young adult. I guess I would be worried, too.
Maggie and Eli feel like mine even though they’re not, and I don’t know how to reconcile that with having to part from them. I can’t wait to see them, to hug them, to talk to them. It’s going to be a hard conversation, but it has to be done.
The doctor comes in while my mother is comforting me, and she stands up to speak to her.
“Everything seems to be in order,” the doctor says, “so I’m going to be discharging you today.”
I smile widely, happy. “Thank goodness,” I mumble.
“You’ll come home with us?” my mother asks, and I shake my head.
