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It was all a charade. He felt nothing for her anymore. Rey kept his distance when he could, touching her only when she lay in bed to quiet her into sleep. She would sometimes wake with the impression of more but passed it off as wishful thinking as she found him too far away to even feel his heat more often than not.
Shame twisted through her at every turn, darkening even the quietest of moments.
She’d done this to both of them, to this child growing inside of her. A child she still felt no connection to, no inkling of the savage protectiveness an Omega should harbor. Devin ruined it all in a moment of weakness with idle thoughts and a single second of thoughtlessness.
Forcing the plate away from her, she swallowed hard. There’d be no finishing her food today, not as the racking guilt twined a slimy path through her chest.
“I… I think I need to sleep more,” she mumbled to her feet, hurrying out of the chair to race to the bedroom. She needed the darkness to hide her humiliation, the shadows to smother her disgrace.
Only he didn’t leave.
Rey followed her, easing down into the bed. Movements stilted, he pet at her shoulder and side. The purr grated, refusing to find the perfect pitch.
“Please,” Devin whimpered, turning into her pillows to evade his touch. As much as she needed him, she didn’t want him to bear witness to her fall again. Didn’t want him to see her cry her anguish into the sheets.
“Do you want so little to do with me, Devin?”
The sound of his voice startled her into rolling over. He’d used her name, which was shocking enough by itself, but it wasn’t a one word command, either. It was rough around the edges, serrated with something too close to grief. The torture in his dark eyes stabbed into her soul as Rey went to his knees beside her, grabbing hold of her shoulders. Pulling her to him, he brought their faces close.
“Answer me.”
“No,” Devin screamed on a breathy whisper, a fine tremble taking up residence in her bones.
“Then why are you acting this way? Do you want Beau instead?” Rey got closer still, breathing in her misery as his lip curled in a silent snarl. “Do you want him to be the one to do this for you?”
He didn’t mean Beau.
The shame sunk its hooks deeper, twisting through her heart as she averted her eyes. Devin didn’t want to see the disgust in his gaze as she gave a quiet whimper. She didn’t know how to tell him, how to explain it any better. She wantedhim. Rey in all his rich glory, beside her. Needed him like air, the very blood pumping through her veins.
Just not like this.
He didn’t want to hear anything she had to say. Dropping her back into the twisted sheets, Rey swung his large body around, sitting on the edge of the bed. Elbows to knees, he gave her his back as he stared at the bright rectangle of the doorway. The silence stretched between them, becoming thick and tangible as he refused to look at her.
Then he was standing, long strides carrying him from the room. Leaving her to her misery yet again. Devin curled back on her side, hugging the soft fabrics close and taking deep draughts of his scent.
Maybe she could sleep.
Maybe hell would freeze over.
Devin didn’t hear the front door slam shut, hadn’t listened hard enough for the click of the door’s lock. Expecting him to leave as he always did, she lost herself in her self-degrading thoughts, berating herself with a cruel twist of her lips at her own stupid actions.
How could she have done this to him? She’d fallen right into Max’s arms without a thought. Let him touch her, allowed herself to touch him in turn. Kissed him. Devin had spent precious moments playing with the idea of him as her mate when in the darkest moments she’d huddled close to the woods and smoke scent of him.
What did it matter that she was pregnant, that she needed an Alpha? There was needing a body, and then there was what she’d done. Betraying Rey in the worst way possible. Not just an act of her body, but so much more.
The tears flowed unchecked as her thoughts circled back on themselves over and over again. Drawing an ever perilous spiral as she sunk deeper into the melancholy plaguing her. Rey would tend her enough to see the baby born and then what?
She’d lose him forever. Her very soul tied to his, he’d never be free of her, not entirely, but he wouldn’t have to look upon her face ever again. Whatever it was that connected them, it didn’t surpass all of this awfulness. She wouldn’t need him to live out the rest of her days somewhere, locked away in silent punishment.
The bed dipped under a great weight. Not just behind her. Both sides of the bed groaned with its sudden burden. Cinnamon and espresso came to her on a sultry rush, two bodies settling alongside her. Beau’s arms came around her, muffling her quiet tears against his bare chest. Pulling her close until Rey drew nearer. Two sets of hands caressed her, attempting to calm.
Devin didn’t want to be soothed. The anguish swirled through her, shredding what remained of her composure. Breaking down into ugly tears, she hated herself. Hated everything she was, would ever be. She’d always prided herself on being so strong. Worthy of respect she was never given. Now she was worse than mud soiling Rey’s shoe. Something distasteful and imperfect, marring the utter perfection of him.
Choking on her tears, she shuffled further down the bed. Avoiding their touch as she curled into a tight ball. Devin didn’t deserve any of this. She deserved the pain.
“I told you it wouldn’t work,” Beau murmured, attempting to unlock Devin’s limbs and stretch her out between them.
“I don’t know what else to do.” Rey’s voice was weary. His exhaustion came through on a gusty sigh.
