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I follow after the others and the moment I step inside, a shiver runs down my spine. I didn’t realize how cold I was until I stepped inside the cabin. Corvin heads straight for the fireplace in the sunken living room. I help cart the groceries into the kitchen where Crue and Saint are already unloading the bags they brought in. We make quick work of stacking the butler’s pantry, fridge and cupboards. I leave the five of them to do whatever the hell they want while I grab my bags and head up to my room, which is next to Darius’s. I shoulder my door open and stand at the entrance for a minute as I take in the space that is mine. It took me over a year to add any personal touches to the room.
“Yo, you want in on pizza,Becky?” I grit my teeth and take a calming breath before I drop my bags in the doorway and move to the banister. Leaning over, I see Darius smirking up at me.
“You want to hear your girl screamingBeckywhen she comes?” The smirk drops off his face, I hear the other's laughter from the living room causing my lips to lift at the corner.
“You’re a fucking prick!” Darius growls, his words lack the burn and his coffee-colored eyes hold no anger. He is the epitome of a bad boy. Darius has the look nailed—dark eyes, black hair, and always sporting a glower. The girls flock to him because of the dark vibes he gives off. Except they are pushing shit uphill, Darius has only had eyes for one girl, the only one he has ever let in and loved completely. His love for Leah nearly destroyed our chosen family. The moment Corvin took a step back and realized his best friend wasn’t justfuckinghis little sister, but was madly in love with Leah and would do whatever it took to keep her, he let go of his anger and alas, here we are.
“We all know you have a prick and I got a bigger dick, just askGoldie.” I throw the nickname he uses for Leah at him and smile wide. He grits his teeth and within a second he is racing up the stairs. I shift and brace for impact as he charges at me. The moment he tackles me to the ground we both burst out laughing. He rests back straddling my legs, and punches me in the gut, pulling a groan from me.
“One fucking time I let you play with us and you constantly use it against me.” He tries to keep his tone light but the regretful look in his eyes betrays him. He regrets ever letting me fuck her. I knew he wasn’t in the right frame of mind that night, I also knew he was trying to prove to himself that she didn’t mean shit to him. Except, the moment I slid inside her I saw the look in his eyes.
“I’m sorry.” He frowns down at me. “I knew you would regret that night, in my own way I was trying to push you so you would see that she is meant for you. I never should have let shit get that far but…”
“She pulled you out of the shadows as well,” he whispers. I nod, unable to lie to him. He sighs and drops to his ass leaning back against the banister and I slide into a sitting position and lean against the wall behind me. I bend my knee and rest my arm atop it.
“I’ll never mention it again,” I say, meaning it.
He shakes his head and lulls it to the side facing me. “I’m not mad about it, I just…” He cuts himself off sliding a hand down his face. He doesn’t need to put it into words, I get it.
“Hate the thought of me knowing what she likes and looks like without clothes, I get it.” He eyes me warily, we’ve never spoken like this before and it’s fucking weird but also… freeing in a sense. “That night brought us closer–”
“Do you still have feelings for her?” He cuts in. I see it in his eyes, this question has been burning in the back of his mind for months. When shit hit the fan with him and Leah, I put her ass on a plane and sent her to Alaska to one of our resorts. I spoke to her daily while she ignored all his and Corvin’s attempts to contact her. I was the one she leaned on when they abandoned her. I know that kills him but he needs to let it go or it will cause nothing but problems between her and him.
“I love her.” His eyes harden as his body turns ridged. “Not in the way you do but in the way a brother would love a sister. She is… important to me.” His brows pinch in the center of his face making his brows raise likeWolverines.“Darius, you have nothing to worry about. Leah only sees you, I knew from the second she came to CHU and saw the two of you together that there is a chemistry so strong, I don’t know how Corv missed it.” Leah means a lot to me because, like someone from my past, she was able to break down my walls and pull me out of the shadows.
“Really?” I smile and nod.
“Dude, the moment she walks into a room your eyes find her without a thought. Even in the dark, she is able to sense you and find you no matter where you hide. The both of you are linked, connected in a way I’ve never seen before.”
Liar. I quiet that fucking annoying voice in the back of my mind.
* * *
We’re all in the hot tub with a beer in each of our hands. Darius surprised us all tonight by having more than two, he’s currently on his fourth. The six of us have been laughing and talking shit most of the evening when the sound of Ella Mai’s “Whatchamacallit” breaks through the night. We smirk, while Corv rolls his eyes as D leaps over the side of the tub and races for his phone on the table.
“Hey, Goldie,” he says as he answers the call. Corvin pretends to gag and earns a slap up the back of the head from Nathan. Darius’s conversation is drowned out when Corvin and Nathan begin to argue. I shake my head and catch a glimpse of Crue’s hand disappearing inside Saint’s. I keep my gaze on the two arguing in front of me ,not wanting to let on that I know what the other two are doing. Pride swells inside me, about time Crue came clean and told Saint how he feels. Anyone with eyes could see that Crue has been in love with Saint for years. I guess it just took the latter longer to catch on. The thing that stuns me most is, how the hell does Katie fit into their duo?
“The fuck!” Darius’s angry shout has us all turning toward him. Corvin pushes toward the edge with worry lines marring his face.
“What the fuck happened?” Corv snaps. Darius stops his pacing and snaps his gaze to his friend, the moment his eyes collide with Corvin’s, I laugh. I can feel the other’s eyes on me and shake my head. Everyone begins to click on to what I’m laughing at, well everyone except Corv. “The fuck is so funny, asshole?” he grits out.
“Don’t make him say it, my dude!” Saint hedges but Corvin ignores him.
“Spit it the fuck out!” The other three guys laugh again at Corvin’s poorly chosen words. I decidefuck it, if he wants to know so bad, I’ll tell him.
“Bet ya a hundred bucks Darius is pissed because Leah iscomingwithout him.” He frowns for a second and then his eyes widen as a horrified look flashes across his face. He turns to Darius, only to find him whisper shouting in the opposite corner of us.
“Darius!” D snaps his gaze toward a seething Corvin, he grins but it falls off his face the moment Corvin stands in the hot tub.
“Dammit, baby, I gotta go, Your brother isbigmad.” He laughs and quickly ends the call as Corv tries to leap out of the tub. Saint and Crue hold him back.
“I fucking told you never to do that shit in front of me.” I tune out their bickering, close my eyes and lean my head back, staring up at the night sky. The stars shine so brightly out here and as much as I hate to admit it, they always remind me ofher.I don’t often think of her anymore, I suppressed all the memories and feelings I felt toward her a long ass time ago. I swore after that night, I would never allow myself to ever love another woman. I may love Leah, but not in the way I loved her. She was my gravity, my reason to remain grounded and fight for a better life. My heart beat only for her until she ripped it out and destroyed me. I didn’t go off the rails and change myself as Darius did, I just… closed myself off and never allowed myself to feel anything for anyone except my family.
It’s been nearly five years since I have seen her and yet, I can still remember every detail about her perfect face. Her striking blue eyes make you believe she is staring right into your soul, her rich auburn hair that shines red in the sunlight, her explosive personality and that sinfully sexy body. Sometimes I let my mind wander to what she may look like now, I know with age her beauty would have only grown. I snap my eyes open and mentally berate myself for allowing my mind to wander down that dead-end track. She’s dead to me and never coming back! If I ever saw her again, I’d make her wish it was her that died that night instead of her piece of shit father.
Valance
“Come on, munchkin, you need to get ready so Momma can get to school.” Dawson stares up at me with eyes that resemble my own, he may have my eyes but everything else ishim. The color of his hair, the smile, the way he struts around like he is the king of this place. I love how strong-willed, determined, and loving he is. Dawson has the biggest heart. I may struggle being a single mom and run on next to no sleep, but I wouldn’t change my life. My son is the driving force behind why I push myself so hard to achieve better, want more and never settle. I refuse to allow Dawson to grow up as I did. He will know he is loved and wanted more than anything in this world, even if his father isn’t in the picture.
