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“I’ve been busy.”
“Bullshit. You have been avoiding me.”
“You said you needed to talk.” I get her back on track. I need to know if something happened to Viktor.
“I have to tell you something. But it isn’t what you think.” Suddenly I feel like I can’t breathe.
“What is it?” I brace myself for the worst.
“Viktor is getting married today.” My heart sinks. He claimed he loved me, but he is marrying her.“Are you still there?”
“Yes. I am actually heading out. Can I call you later?” I need to get off the phone. My knees feel like they are going to give.
“He doesn’t love her. My uncle didn’t give him a choice.”
“I really have to go.” I end the call seconds before the flood of tears comes.
I try to swallow the tears, but there is no stopping them. It’s one thing to know he has to marry her and another altogether that he is marrying her. It makes me question how much our love meant to him. I was stupid to think otherwise. But my tears aren’t going to fix anything. I need to start living my life. A life without Viktor. I grab my bag and leave the apartment. For the next few hours, I will be too busy to think of him or a wedding that is happening today. I leave the house and go to the mall. At the mall, I start going in and out of stores. I walk in store after store walking out with nothing. I can’t focus. Tina’s words are still replaying. A piece of my heart breaking more and more as I think about it. By the fifth store, I know it is pointless to continue at the mall. Finally, I leave and go to the supermarket.
At the supermarket, I get a cart and take out the grocery list. I pretty much know what we need since half the list is written by me. I do most of the cooking. Halfway down the list, Lisa has written cleaning supplies and tampons. I freeze. I take my phone and go to my calendar.When was my last period?With all the drama, I haven’t thought about it. It has been at least six weeks since my last period. I’m nearly two weeks late. No, this has to be a mistake. We have always taken precautions. I made sure every single time. I pick up the tampons and reluctantly several pregnancy tests. There is no way I’m trusting just one.
?
I’ve been staring at the pregnancy boxes for the last twenty minutes on my bed. I should get it over with and take the damn test. If a baby is growing inside me, I need to know. But taking the test means I have to accept the possibility of being pregnant. I pace, trying to get the courage to pee on the sticks. Finally, I open all the boxes and take one stick from each box. I figured different brands will give me peace of mind. I follow the instructions and set the timer on my phone. In tv shows, this is the part where the main character’s BFF sits next to her telling her not to freak out. That everything will be fine. For me, my BFF can’t know. Her cousin might be having another baby. She would for sure tell him. Why did I have to cross paths with Victor? The alarm goes off. I stand and take a deep breath.
“I am going to be fine. It’s going to be negative.” I tell no one.
I look at each of the sticks. One is a smiley face, the other two pink lines, and the thirdPregnant.
“Fuck.” Time for round two.
?
I’ve been sitting on the floor staring at six pregnancy tests, all telling me the same thing. In less than eight months, I will bring a baby to this world. I put my hands on my stomach. This has to be some sort of cosmic joke. I go online and search for the nearest clinic to confirm that the tests in front of me are correct. People get false positives all the time. I take all the tests and put them in a trash bag. There is no need to panic just yet. Unless a doctor, bloodwork, and sonogram reveal I’m pregnant, I’m not going to trust any of the sticks I peed on. I can’t have Viktor’s baby. I’m trying to move on and forget him. But this baby means I get to have a part of him with me always. A few tears escape me.
I can’t believe this is happening to me. After everything I’ve been through. One thing is for sure, if I am pregnant, I cannot tell him. He can’t ever know about this baby. Who knows what he would do if he learned the truth. Because as I touch my stomach, in the deepest part of me, I know I am pregnant. Ironic, I left his side because of him lying to me. Yet, here I am willing to keep something from him. Isn’t a secret just as bad as a lie? But what am I supposed to do?
Chapter Four
Viktor
I’ve been sitting at my desk for the last hour trying to figure out how it got to this. I’m supposed to marry Fiona in three hours. But I should be marrying Ava. Oliver hasn’t found Ava either. My father and Cillian are up to something, but I can’t figure out what.
I’m staring at a picture I took of Ava. She is sitting on the couch reading a magazine. It’s a Tuesday afternoon. She is wearing leggings and a sweater. She looks so happy. It feels like a lifetime ago I took the picture. Life will never be that simple again.
“Viktor,” Oliver calls.
“What?” I bark.
“Did you hear what I said?”
“Have you found her?” I question him.
“Not yet. But it’s not what I was telling you.”
“I don’t give a fuck about anything other than her.”
“We have to leave in an hour. Ava’s things have been moved to storage. Fiona has moved in. Her things are in your bedroom.” This gets my attention.
