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All the pain, all the loss, would come crashing down around me.
Better to keep those balls in the air and continue on. Bury the hurt bubbling up inside me. So though that period of my life—working too many hours, casual hookups, avoiding Lovewell—was only meant to be temporary, it had become a defining characteristic. Traits people now associated with me.
Which made this whole Parker situation that much more difficult. Because I was dealing with the judgment that had plagued me since I’d come back to Lovewell as well as the blatant shock, from what seemed like everyone, over the news of my relationship while also trying to show her that I could be more than the shallow guy she had me pegged for if she would give me the chance.
Because although the vision was hazy, I could see it. We had an innate connection, and I desperately wanted to explore it. Not that I was capable of saying that out loud. But every day, it was getting harder to deny my feelings for her.
Before I could compose myself, Parker was approaching with two cups of champagne. Her face was bright and her smile genuine. I stood a little straighter, proud that this dynamic woman was here with me.
“This is quite a wedding,” she said, handing me one cup and surveying the crowd.
“Lovewell really turns out for the big events. And Henri runs one of the largest companies in town. Not to mention Alice is the school principal. They do so much for everyone. So I’m not surprised so many people wanted to celebrate them.”
She threaded her arm through mine, bringing our bodies flush, and tapped her cup to mine.
“They seem really in love,” she said softly, bringing her champagne to her lips.
I stared into my cup, unsure of how to calm my racing heart. Her proximity was doing this to me more and more. Setting my skin on fire and sending my heart soaring.
Sucking in a deep breath, I pushed it all down. “They are. Henri is so much like my dad. The right woman came along, and he was all-in from day one.”
She leaned her head against my shoulder. “I have a hard time even conceptualizing that. But I’m happy for them. And for your parents. Mine are divorced.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” She shook her head, but she didn’t pull it away. “I’m happy about it. As a kid, I used to dream of the day they finally split up. It was an abusive relationship. My mom is doing a lot better now, though I doubt she’ll ever fully recover.”
My heart sank. How was I supposed to respond to that? She had alluded to her dysfunctional upbringing a couple of times, but this was the first time she had mentioned abuse. It made sense, though. Her fierce independence, the constant physical training, and her desire to help people and do good.
“Jesus. I’m so sorry you had to live through that.”
“It’s okay. But that’s why I don’t have very high opinions of love and marriage.”
I shrugged. “I’m anti-marriage too, and I don’t have a good excuse.”
She turned and shot me an annoyed glare. “Oh please. You’re a family guy. And you bought that giant farmhouse. You’ve got to fill it with a doting wife, a few wild kids, and at least one dog. I can see you tripping over Legos on the stairs and building a tree house out back.”
I frowned. “Then you should definitely rethink your line of work. I’m not interested in staying in Lovewell, and I’m certainly not interested in living in that house and filling it with kids and dogs.”
She elbowed me in the ribs. “More of a cat person?”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“Yup. Standoffish, grouchy, and makes you earn his affection. Definitely a cat person.”
Chapter25
Parker
Weddings were weird. On the one hand, eternal love, the joining of two families, the booze and the food were all great. On the other hand, they gave me a stomachache every damn time. Like I was missing some components necessary to function correctly in society, but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out which ones.
Tonight, the guests were living it up. The bride and groom, as well as their adorable kids, were delirious with happiness too.
The sight of it filled me with joy, but at the same time, my brain was whirring along on overdrive, assessing every guest, planning out who I needed to talk to, and sneaking quick looks at my date.
Paz was handsome. That had never been up for dispute. And he wore a suit so damn well. That I knew for certain. It was his default setting.
But standing up with his brothers while wearing a flannel shirt and suspenders? H.A.W.T. The theme of this wedding was upscale lumberjack, and I was drinking up every detail.
