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“Some days it feels like the fear is all that’s left of me.” I pressed my lips together and closed my eyes. “That I have nothing else to give.”
She pushed up, putting her hand on my chest. “That’s not true. You are so many things. You contain multitudes. You do not exist only to worry and stockpile supplies.”
“But I do. Getting the company back on track, providing for everyone—that’s what I’m here for. They have each other. And this? It’s all I can do.”
“That is straight-up bullshit.” Her face flushed, and she went rigid. “I’ve been here a month,” she gritted out, anger radiating off her. “And you know what I’ve seen? A family that constantly reaches out to you to include you and consult with you. Siblings who value your intellect and perspective. A mom who’d kill to spend more time with you. Who drops off fresh banana bread, even if you eat it without chocolate chips.”
She stood and paced to the windows. Damn, she was adorable when she was mad.
“Do not talk about my boyfriend that way.”
I froze. Real boyfriend or fake boyfriend? I opened my mouth to ask, to clarify the label, but she was on a roll.
“Stop reducing yourself.” She fisted her hands at her sides. “Start trusting that there is a well of good inside you just bursting to be let out.”
“How do I let it out?”
“By being fucking vulnerable. Saying what you feel for once. Stop hiding behind the grumpy exterior. You’re basically Oscar the Grouch in Brooks Brothers.”
I laughed. She wasn’t far off. I hauled myself off the couch and pulled her against me. My affection for her swelled in my chest.
With one finger, I tipped her chin up and stared into her gorgeous eyes. “Thank you.” I leaned down to place a kiss on her lips.
“Fear and anxiety are healthy and normal. Don’t forget that. But I’m always here to listen. And I’m on your team, if you want me.”
“I want you so fucking much,” I said, kissing her again.
Chapter30
Pascal
Imissed her. There. I said it. Henri had taken Parker up to camp the day before so she could inspect the buildings and see the machine shop. I wanted to be the one to take her, but it was almost Thanksgiving, which meant endless year-end spreadsheets and meetings with the finance team.
We should have done it weeks ago, before winter really kicked up, but there hadn’t been time between stakeouts and fucking her on every available surface in my house. I was the luckiest guy in the world, and I wouldn’t take any of this for granted. I’d already learned that lesson. For once, work hadn’t been my first priority.
And it wasn’t just sex. Parker saw right through my defense mechanisms and bullshit. She’d seen my damn basement, and instead of judging me or running away, she embraced that side of me. Every single day, she was inspiring me to push myself and to grow.
I was a planner, a prepper. Always imagining every scenario. And right now, all I could see was a future with Parker. I wanted it more than I had ever wanted anything.
But right now, she was over a hundred miles away in the damn woods with no cell reception. With my brother. So instead, I was stuck here, in my office, thinking about her and how cute she looked when she wore my T-shirts.
How strangely things had turned out. When Dad died, my life stopped.
The anchor of our family. The man I had spent my life trying to impress.
Gone in an instant.
A freak accident.
And I was hundreds of miles away, in the city, trying to make rich people richer.
It was only when the shock and grief were so bad that I made a mistake. One email, attaching the wrong document. And suddenly, my career was gone, and Parker’s case was blown.
Henri, Adele, and Remy had already worked for Dad. Henri had been his right hand since we were teenagers and was heir apparent to the Gagnon Lumber business.
Not that I minded. I had wanted nothing to do with it. I’d gotten out of Lovewell, my stiflingly small hometown, as I’d always dreamed of doing, and I’d made a life for myself far away from the woods.
But everything ended. All the things I cared about. Lost in an instant.
