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I walked to the fridge and opened it, looking for something to eat or drink, but I closed it again. Nothing I put in my body from the fridge would change the guilt I felt over Liv being hurt.
I walked to the living room and poured myself bourbon at the wet bar. That wouldn’t change anything, either, but at least it made me feel better.
Rory wasn’t wrong in suggesting that I tell Liv the whole story. Maybe Livdiddeserve to know that this was so much more personal, but Rory didn’t get it. She didn’t understand what I felt for Liv.
I’d come dangerously close to losing her, and since I’d invested so much of myself—an idiot move to begin with—it had been fucking terrifying.
Liv wasn’t strong enough to do what I wanted her to do. She wasn’t strong enough to deal with her power, which meant that a lot of what we were planning to do with the machine and her blood wouldn’t work. That in itself was scary.
What if I never got the thing to work, and I died just like my grandfather, way before my time?
I wouldn’t think about that right now.
What was worse was the fact that if she was weak, I could lose her too easily. What would I do if I lost her? I’d never lost anyone close to me since my dad had died, and we hadn’t been that close to begin with. Why had I been so fortunate in all my years of being alive?
Because I’d never let anyone close enough to hurt me when they left or died.
I’d let down my guard with Liv and let her too close, and now, if I lost her, that shit was going to hurt like a bitch.
I wasn’t ready for that.
I had to figure out a way to do this, a different way than I’d thought before. Where the fuck had my dad’s soothsayer gone? Was she still alive?
They lived a long time, so she had to besomewhere. I just didn’t know where. I picked up my phone and dialed Mykel’s number.
“Do you still have contact with the fae?” I asked.
“Why?” Mykel asked. That was so fucking close to a yes, I’d take it.
“I need them to do a spell or something and figure out where Andra is.”
“Andra? The soothsayer?”
“Yeah, I need her.”
“For what?”
“None of your business,” I snapped before I took a deep breath. “Just find her for me if you can. It’s urgent.”
“On it, boss,” Mykel said. “I wish you’d tell me why, though. It would help us narrow down the search.”
“It won’t,” I said. “Trust me. Just do what I ask.”
Mykel was curious, but I wouldn’t tell him what I wanted to do until I could find Andra. Maybe she could help me with answers. She’d done a lot for my dad, and I was blood. Maybe she would do something for me, too.
After I ended the call, I poured another glass of bourbon and threw it back. Liv didn’t want to see me because I’d hurt her. The machine was coveted enough that I had to hide it here. Someone was working behind my back to fuck me over, and I had a disease that would ruin me before I could get it all together the way I wanted.
As if that wasn’t enough, I’d fallen for a woman when I’d sworn I never would, because heartache was exactly what I didn’t need… and now look at where I was.
My phone rang about an hour later, and Mykel’s name flashed on the screen.
“They found her,” he said.
Shit, I hadn’t thought it was possible that this shitstorm would still have a silver lining.
“Get her here as soon as you can,” I said.
“She won’t come to you; I already asked,” Mykel said. “She’s hidden and wants to stay that way. You have to go to her.”
