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“Barrett… Wells-something? That guy you brought to the track a few times?”
“Yeah, Bare Wellston. He’s the best with bikes…motorcycles. He’s into a bunch of other stuff, though. Real estate investments like my dad but lower key. He just regentrified one of the factories on the north side of town and turned it into condos. You should see them. They’re in your paygrade.” He winked. “Plus, I live there. He’s about to start renovations on two more nearby buildings.”
“Wow. I should look into it. I don’t have a home base, at the moment.” A bigger place for me and Bristol sounded good. A home where we could build a family—once she was talking to me again. She’d always wanted kids, and I definitely wanted them with her.
Flip and I talked for a while more, and it reminded me of how much I enjoyed my friends here in Cherish Cove. I’d missed that kind of connection. Chatting without competition lurking in the background. Even when I’d ridden bikes, Flip and I hadn’t been shut off from each other.
A lot of the drivers in my circuit were friends with each other, too; I knew that. They shared a camaraderie with each other that I wasn’t a part of. Like being with Bristol, my uncle had forbidden it. He kept me segregated from everyone else. “They’re the enemy. You can’t trust them,” he’d say. He claimed it was for my own good, and if I ever tried to spend time with other drivers, he shut it down fast.
Thing was, as I watched Flip practice, talked to him on his breaks and saw him interact with the other riders, I knew my behavior had to change. When I got back, I wouldn’t close out other drivers and treat them like potential threats anymore. They were colleagues. Treating them like the enemy made me weak.
Somehow, on that embankment, entrenched in my memories, I realized how much of the past six years hadn’t been for my own good. Things were going to change, and Darius wouldn’t like it. But fuck if I cared. I didn’t. Not at all.
Nine
Bristol
If one more person told me Axel was in town or asked if I’d seen him, I might scream. Thing was, it confused me that, despite all their gossipy info, theydidn’tknow he was staying at my apartment—ourapartment.
I saw Axel Pendleton driving through town today! Such a nice young man.
Oh my God! Axel was in the coffeeshop this afternoon. He saidhito me. Isn’t he hot! You’re so lucky, Bristol!
That one had confused me. How was I lucky? We weren’t together.
Did you know Axel’s in town? I swear I saw him at the supermarket a little while ago. Madison Wyler said he signed an autograph for her son. Do you think you could ask him for one for me?
It was almost asif they didn’t know he was only in town for the fundraiser. I just handed over flyers and let them know he’d be at the school, meeting people, andsigningthings on Friday and Saturday. If nothing else, we’d get a lot of traffic at the event.
The last thing I wanted right now was for one more person to mention him—and there had been a lot in and out today. About triple the library’s normal daily patrons. Thankfully, I was free of town’s information party line for the rest of the night, since I was on my way home.
To my place.
Where he was squatting until the end of the week.
Crap. That wasn’t much better.
At a stoplight, I pulled up my reminders on my phone and added a voice memo to cue me to call Mr. Anderson, my landlord, about getting Axel’s name off the lease. I just couldn’t force myself to do it today. I loathed the idea of one more conversation about my ex.
A quiet growled escaped me as I pressed the gas. Ihatedhow he had me all twisted up inside. It wasn’t fair! Six years. After six years, the need, loss and heartbreak shouldn’t be so raw.
I had to get myself straightened out. This mix of desire and anger would drive me to the brink. My heart would be scraped raw again in about two minutes when I got to the apartment.
Maybe, Axel wouldn’t be there? Could I be that lucky? He hadn’t shown up at my job today. That was pretty lucky, right?
As pushy as he was yesterday, I’d half-expected him to pop into the library all day. I wasn’t sure if I was glad or disappointed he hadn’t. See? More confusion. In the past twenty-four hours, my emotions had knotted into an impossible tangle. I was a disaster.
I wanted Axel.
But I hated him.
Yet if he pulled me into his arms, right now…
No! Ihatedhim.
I was beginning to think maybe—maybe—I shouldn’t. Last night at the Pendletons, it had seemed as if there were things I didn’t know, things Axel should have told me. Something about him, something hidden in the shadows that crossed his eyes, told me Axel waged an inner battle no one knew about. I didn’t want to believe it. That would torpedo all the anger that had ebbed and surged inside me since our breakup.
So was I ready to forgive him? No.
