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Yeah, that was the problem right there. Axel was leaving again. I couldn’t forget that. I couldn’t let myself give over to him then get hurt again. I couldn’t fall in for whatever was on his mind, but I supposed I could enjoy the moment. Dinner and company. That was the most he’d get from me.
Determined to just be friends with him—or at least, be friendly for tonight—I quickly changed into thick black leggings, maroon slouchy socks, and an off-the-shoulder sweater of the same color with a black tank beneath it. Then I released my chestnut-colored hair from the tight twist it had been in all day and ran a brush through the thick mass, biting back a moan at the prickly sensation in my scalp.
When I came out, Axel leaned against the half wall that partitioned the kitchen from the living room. He straightened and met me partway across the room. There was his scent of spice and musk again, drugging me and pulling me under his spell.
His hand came up, pushing a strand of my hair behind my ear, his fingertips caressing the skin at my temple. A shiver slid through me, mocking the control I tried to muster.
“You look beautiful, Bristol. You’ve always been gorgeous, but now… This body you have now. You take my breath away. You were always pretty but…fuck…”
Flames ignited low in my belly, and I sucked in a breath at the immediate fiery response to his rasped words.
“Axel… Please don’t.”
“Can’t help it, baby.”
When I started to reply, he held up a palm and took a step back.
“I’ll try, okay?” he defended. “I just…”
He shook his head and didn’t finish, and of course, that left me to wondered what he’d planned to say.
Dang it. Every minute with him made me more confused.
Ten
Bristol
Leaving me to ponder what his argument might have been, what he really wanted to say to me, Axel instead offered his elbow to guide me to the kitchen. He held out my chair for me.
The table was in a corner of the kitchen, on a semi-circle of parquet flooring to differentiate it from the kitchen itself, though it was the same room. Two windows abutted each other, one facing east and the other north, filling the space with sunlight in the morning. Now, it was twilight over the park outside. He’d situated us so we could overlook the landscape behind the building, neither of us with a back to the windows.
This setup took me back to old times before everything got messed up. We always used to sit like that when we’d first moved in and we’d made the most of our meals together, making even ramen and vegetables romantic with low lights, candles, and the linens we’d gotten as housewarming gifts from his mom.
Once I sat, he turned to the counter that was only an arm’s reach away.
“Your wine,” he said, placing it before me. “Hang on a sec and I’ll get our food.”
“Thank you.” My fingers wrapped around the stemless glass, absorbing the cool against my heated flesh. Looking over my shoulder, I watched him moving efficiently around the kitchen—okay, mostly, I just watched him. I couldn’t help noting the physical changes in him again. But more, he moved around with an assurance he hadn’t had years ago. Yeah, he’d been a pro at ramen, just like most teenagers, but actual cooking? Not so much.
“Do you need help?” I asked.
He shook his head, while he plated our meals. “Nah. You just relax. You worked all day. I didn’t do anything.”
“That’s not what I heard. You were the talk of Cherish Cove today. Everyone who came into the library mentioned hearing you’re in town or that they’d seen you.”
He grimaced, but it didn’t hide his amusement. “That must have been annoying for you. Being pissed at me and all.”
I sighed, looking away and taking a sip of my wine. Perfect. Cool, crisp and sweet. “I’m trying not to be. I mean, we’re both adults. We can at leasttry toget along.”
“Get along,” he echoed. “Sure.”
He sounded…disappointed. Surely, he couldn’t be expecting more.
Signs all point to that, Bris. Open your eyes.
But I didn’t want to. Opening my eyes would mean facing the past more than I was. It would mean telling him about what had happened after he went, opening old wounds I would never fully heal from.
Unaware of where my thoughts had digressed to, he placed the meal in front of me and effectively brought me back to now. I raised a brow. Geez…our meals looked like one of the pictures in the cookbook he’d mentioned. Or something from a restaurant. He’d even garnished each with a spring of rosemary.
