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CHAPTER 1
BRISTOL
I suck in all my tummy bits as I sit on the other side of the desk from my boss, Soren Michaelson. He’s pushing 50 but doesn’t look it, which is a miracle considering his diet consists of red wine, cigarettes, and fame. I think I’ve seen the man eat some salad leaves, but only a few, once or twice.
In the fantasy scape of my mind, I imagine Soren going home after a long day, pouring himself a fishbowl of wine, and then eating everything he can get his hands on. Imagining his horrible eating habits where he’s bathed in only the light of his fridge is my own personal happy place.
It would be a lot easier to hold onto the image if Soren weren’t so nice, but he’s a damn sweetheart. And talented.
The man is so incredibly talented and the fame he feeds himself with is entirely justified. He’s been in the business a long time and has shot for major fashion houses as well as some of the biggest magazines in the world.
I wish I could have a career like his. Which is why I work for him as not much more than a glorified intern. He’s become more than my boss; he’s become a mentor.
The thing is—and what I won’t ever say to him—I’m not sure I’m cut out for fashion photography.
I’ve always loved fashion, but I don’t have the talent to design. I love photography and capturing one perfect moment in time. I thought combining them would lead me down my perfect career path.
Now, I’m not so sure.
I want my photography to mean something to someone. I want it to change someone’s mind or help them to find beauty. I don’t think I want to sell anything.
Which means I’m struggling lately with what moving forward looks like. What direction do I go? Can I even walk away from Soren when he’s taught me so much and helped me every step of the way?
It makes me feel like pond scum for even considering finding another job. I don’t know where I would start. I’m afraid that by considering going in another direction, I’ll be squandering what I’ve been given.
But then am I missing an opportunity to find my own happiness?
I don’t know and it’s giving me a headache every time I think about it. I’ve been going through the motions for a while now, but that doesn’t mean I know what I should be doing instead.
“You need to find the perfect location,” Soren pulls me from my thoughts, and I feel guilty for having gotten that deep inside my own head. “It’ll be for the December issue. You know it’s usually all about wintry weather and the holidays, but I want something different,” he muses.
“I can find something different,” I promise and hope I sound more confident than I feel.
Winter fashion can be bulky, but the reality is that a lot of people don’t have snow in December and have never experienced a white Christmas. It’s not all ski slopes and hot chocolate.
“It’s going to be Svetlana on the cover,” I can almost hear the sneer in his voice.
Soren doesn’t really like working with the latest and, allegedly, greatest new model to come on the scene. I’ve watched him coddle some models through shoots, which he hates, but then there are other models he finds are too entitled for their own good.
Considering the pull Soren has, he’s down to earth and he doesn’t love people acting high and mighty. It’s not every new model, but it is a business where things can go to someone’s head quickly. If that happens, Soren isn’t the photographer for them, but he’s also sought after.
It’s a vicious cycle with no ending.
“Great,” I try and sound chipper, but it’s clearly bullshit and the look my boss shoots me tells me he’s not buying what I’m selling. Fine. “I’ll find a location.”
“Send it my way before you confirm. I’m sure it’ll be perfect,” Soren has a look of pride on his face, as if he knew I’d come to the rescue, when he dismisses me.
I nod and grab my notes, most of which are doodles, which is so fucking wrong of me, before I head back to my desk. I sigh as I sink down into my very comfortable office chair. It’s not all glitzy photoshoots around here. There is a surprising amount of paperwork between releases and contracts for brands along with planning shoots.
Soren wants to control all aspects of a shoot. Where a brand might plan everything and the photographer is just one of the pieces, that’s not true for one of Soren’s shoots. He wants to know who the models are and works with the brand or magazine he’s shooting for on those, but he wants full creative control when it comes to who is doing hair and make-up.
I think I’ve spent more time at my computer than I have on sets. Which is okay with me because on set it can be a lot of hurry up and wait. I hate ‘hurry up and wait’. It messes with my whole vibe which is all about getting shit done.
If Soren wants something different for a December issue, then we’re not talking about a mountain retreat. That’s too predictable for sure. The opposite of snow and mountains would be sand and the beach, but is that too obvious?
I start searching for warm places, but I don’t want somewhere exotic like Bora Bora or Tahiti. That would be too much and too unattainable for most people. Soren always likes the idea of shooting places where people can go without requiring a lot of money.
As I start searching, keeping the holidays in mind, I come across an island which is part of the Florida Keys. Candy Cane Key is literally the shape of a candy cane. Not only that, but they’ve embraced a whole Christmas theme for the island all year.
