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“I find them useful from time to time.”
“For what?”
He considered this for a moment. “I’ll show you one day. If you’re lucky.”
“Hmmph. Then I’ll never get to see.”
On the bike ride back to his place, Esme had held on so tightly to Rainer’s back that it felt like he was hugging her right back. He was fast becoming her happy place. Being close to his immense physical form had a calming effect on her that she’d never experienced with any man before.
“You’ll see. Don’t worry. I thought a candle might help us be calm. I saw you looking a little sad in the romp room. That’s a hectic place. Wanted this to be the opposite.”
“That’s nice.”
“Want to tell me why you were sad?”
Esme screwed up her mouth, and — under the table — screwed up her fists, too.
“Hard to explain. I was doing yoga. People were joining in. I just… don’t like people looking at me.”
“You’re a streamer, though.”
“That’s different. I can’t see their faces.”
Rainer nodded. “Makes sense.”
“Youseem okay with people looking at you.”
Rainer sighed. “Feel like I made a mistake tonight.”
“I was proud of you.”
“Good.”
Seeing him smile made her soul want to laugh with joy.
“Dog’s mean,” she said, sticking out her tongue. “I always thought he was mean.”
“Lots of bikers are mean. Doesn’t mean they’re bad people.”
“I know. I just mean… he’s extra-mean. One time, he shouted at Josie.”
Josie was a very soft-hearted, sweet-as-a-button Little who’d hung around the MC for a very long time. Esme really liked Josie, and the time that Dog had shouted at her — because she’d been sitting in his seat — had really stuck in her mind.
“You know, that is a very shi… shi…badthing that he did. Little Josie doesn’t have a bad bone in her body. You know, that’s kind of why I decided to stand.”
“Josie?”
“Not directly. It’s more like… since I’ve been getting to know you, something’s opened up in me. In my heart. I can’t stand the thought of people suffering. I just have this feeling that if Dog becomes the Prez of the club, then people will suffer. Not just the club members, but the Littles affiliated with the club, too. I don’t want to let that happen. I believe it’s our duty to protect vulnerable people at all costs.”
Esme felt her heart swell as he spoke. “That feeling is because of me.”
“You know it is.”
“Well. That makes me feel… all melty and gooey inside like a s’more.”
His eyes fixed hers. In the flickering candlelight, it was like looking into the eyes of some benign giant.
“Esme, you and me, we’re two halves of a whole. Do you feel it?”
