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“It was… this sounds dumb. But…” When she looked at him, her soft, beautiful eyes were watery, red-rimmed, “when you left… it felt like I was being abandoned by the only person who had ever really believed in me.”
Chuck sighed deeply. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. You weren’t to know… how I felt about you.”
Chuck realized that he was making a fist, clenching his fingers together so hard his knuckles were white. “Howdidyou feel about me?”
“Like… you were everything, Chuck. You took me seriously. You listened to me. You were always there to help. You taught me, worked with me.”
“I’m sorry I left. I should have waited until after the competition.”
“It’s not your fault.” A sad smile played across her lips. “You had a life to lead. Couldn’t be the slave to the whims of a lovesick schoolgirl.”
Chuck’s heart pounded in his chest. “I should have been more sensitive.”
“I came off Wizard,” Millie said. “We were transitioning. Piaffe to passage and back again.”
“Not too difficult.”
“Nope. But we needed focus. You remember how wild Wizard could be.”
“I remember.”
“I was nervous. He could sense it, I think. And instead of listening to me… he just broke. I couldn’t do anything to stop him, and he just went berserk. It was like he’d forgotten how to trot — his legs were splayed out, and he just wouldn’t listen.”
“Millie, I’m so sorry.”
“I lost it. I still remember that panic to this day. He started to rear up so high, trying to throw me. I could sense the anxiety of the judges, of the crowd. Everything was silent, everything slowed right down. And then, he just snapped. He started to gallop in the ring, as fast as he could. I tried to hold on, but I couldn’t — he threw me, and then…” her breathing was ragged, full of anxiety, “he went down.”
Chuck reached out and gently stroked Millie’s hair. He was overwhelmed with guilt. If he had just stayed a little longer, long enough to support Millie at the event, maybe none of this would have happened. “I’m sorry.”
“There was nothing they could do for him. It was a compound fracture.”
Chuck winced. For a competition horse, treating a compound fracture was never financially viable. “Poor boy,” he said.
“I live with the guilt every day,” Millie sniffed. “I don’t deserve to ride a horse by myself ever again. They’re such wonderful creatures, and I’m just…”
“You’ve suffered enough, Mill.”
She nodded. “When you spanked me last night, it felt… for a moment… like everything was forgiven.”
Chuck felt a rush—the thrill of hope. “That’s why the work we’re going to do together is going to be so important.”
“The work at the stables?”
“Yes. But more than that.” He took hold of her slim, soft hand. “We’re going to regress you. Take you back to a time when you didn’t have this guilt.”
Millie looked suddenly excited. “Full regression.”
“Much as I can manage. Look, we’re going to have to keep it a secret, okay? If Takis finds out that anything is going on between us, there might be trouble.”
“I can keep a secret, Daddy,” Millie said, earnestly.
“I know you can. This regression, it’s gonna be like a reset for you, you understand? A chance to start again. To beat the fear.”
“You think that’ll work?”
He considered this. “I don’t see how it can hurt. Plus… based on last night, I figure it might be fun, too.”
