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Another fair point. I’d done some stuff I wasn’t proud of when left to my own devices.
I scrubbed a hand over my face. “Thanks.”
“We are in this together. You supported me when you didn’t think I should be with Lis.”
I nodded and nudged my shoulder into his. “We always have each other, and I’m pretty fucking lucky you’re my brother.” I’d never abandon him like the rest of our family had. I made sure he never dealt with the shit I had to, but I felt like a burden to him. I knew he took our bond seriously and wanted to be here for me, but he had a life to live too, and I couldn’t be the third wheel for the rest of his life. He was serious about this guy, and I had to somehow make him believe I didn’t need him anymore so he’d stop holding back with Lis. I couldn’t rely on him to sit with me through night terrors and sleep paralysis for the rest of my life.
“I’m lucky you’re mine. We couldn’t have done this without each other.”
He was right about that. While he wrote all the lyrics, I wrote most of the music and came up with the concepts and art for the album. Each one had a theme and visuals to go with them. We called them eras. They were a story, and it was part of what made us popular. Fans latched onto each one and even came to concerts in costumes to match the themes and eras. We loved how much they interacted with them.
“I hate to see you hurting,” Kingsley said when I stopped in front of the bar, seeing if I could spot her in the window before we went in. Going in blind with Lucy was never a good place to be. She would use it against me every time.
“I’m okay. I promise.” I put on my best creepy smile like we used to do in high school to scare off the popular kids so they’d leave us alone.
Kingsley rolled his eyes. “I don’t believe you.”
“You can’t live the rest of your life following me around to protect me.”
Kingsley scowled like it was a personal affront. “And what? Let you live like that?”
“You need to go spend time with your boyfriend when you have it. I don’t want to see you fuck this up because you’re worried about me.”
“You can’t just expect me to turn it off. That’s not how it works. I’ve been doing this—”
I cut him off. “For too long. And I’ve leaned on you a lot, and I’m sorry I’ve made you do it.” And I didn’t think I’d ever forgive myself for letting him take care of me like he had. It was like coming out of a fog since he started seeing someone seriously. The more time he gave up with Alister, the more I realized what I was doing to him, allowing him to take care of me this long.
He’d given up too much of his life for my fucked up ass already.
“You haven’t made me do it. You’re my brother.”
“It’s not your job to take care of me.”
“No, it’s not my fucking job. It’s my fucking right. I love you, and I’m not going to let you push away everyone but Lucy. Not again.” He set his jaw, lip curling up.
I dropped the argument knowing this wasn’t going to get anywhere with the both of us drinking and how hot-headed we were. “You coming in?”
“I’m not going to stand out here with my dick in my fucking hand.” Kingsley grabbed the door, holding it open.
I slipped inside, still not seeing Lucy, which should have been my first hint to leave, but sometimes I’m not that smart. I went to the bar, needing a drink to go through with this. It almost felt like it was out of spite, but I couldn’t look at it like that. Royal hating her wasn’t the point. It was a bonus. Was I that fucked up?
I ordered shots. Maybe blackout drunk would be best for the both of us. Forget about the way he’d looked at me. The anger and lust in his gray eyes.
I shot the first and waved my brother off when he reached for one. “Get your own.”
“You’re doing all four of those?” Kingsley waved at the bartender to set him up. “Let’s go.”
“Lis is going to be pissed at you.”
“I’m not letting you do this without going shot for shot with you. If he’s pissed off, I’ll refer him to you.”
I held up my middle finger as I did the second shot and went right into the third. Kingsley shot two in a row to catch up.
A hand with blood-red nails snaked under mine to grab the last. “I called you. Did you feel it?”
A shiver ran down my spine as her breath blew over my neck. “Was it you who had me up last night?” I didn’t want to say I believed in witchcraft or any of that shit, but Lucy had a way of making herself unforgettable. I can’t even name the number of times she’d popped into my mind and I’d found her sitting outside waiting for me when I’d gone to seek her out. Like she could call my fucking soul to hers.
“Mayyyybe.” She took the last of Kingsley’s, and he didn’t fight her. “You should have come last night.”
