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“Fine,” I said, my face growing hot with embarrassment.
Bebe was by me, whining even more now, his head down as he went to his stomach, giving me big, regretful eyes.
Seth crouched down by me, his hands hovering over me as he tried to figure out what to do. “Bebe, you have to be careful. I told you you’re too big. You can knock people over.” His voice was firm as he stared at Bebe.
The dog sensed that he was in trouble and whined again, his nose pushing into my leg, begging for forgiveness.
“It’s okay,” I said.
“It isn’t. You look like you’re in pain. That was a hard fall. I’m sorry about the big guy. I can’t even begin to go over how many obedience classes I took him too. It just doesn’t take. I’m lucky if he’ll even listen to me when I say sit so I can feed him.” Seth must have realized he was ranting because his mouth suddenly clanked shut, lips pressed together. Redness crept into his cheeks. Cute.
“Mmm,” I responded when I realized he wasn’t going to say anything else. I didn’t have much else in me to respond with. I shifted, wishing to find a way to relieve the pain without Seth knowing. This wasn’t because of Bebe; this was because of my own weakness. “I said it’s okay. I just landed on a rock.” I tried to give Seth a wry smile as I patted Bebe’s head. “It’s poking my ass now. Bebe is fine. He’s such a good dog.”
Seth chuckled as he stood and coached Bebe away from me. His shirt caught my attention and it made me smile. It said, ‘Oh, did you hear that? Sorry. That was my inner thought.’ I was beginning to think he had a whole slew of them in his closet. Or he was making them himself.
“Do you need help getting up?”
I shook my head. “Nope. No, I’m good.”
Seth looked like he didn’t believe me. His eyes stayed on me the entire time I got back to my feet, fighting against the pain along my back. This was bad. Really bad. Every little movement felt like a stabbing. The damage that had been done was now aggravated, flaring up. Soon, I wasn’t going to be moving much. Dread bubbled up inside. And right behind that emotion was frustration. A fall like that should have been nothing.
I knew how this was going to play out for the next day or so. If I thought it’d help, I’d go to the hospital, but all they could do was give me more pain medication.
This was all about pain management until my spine healed itself.
Fucking pain management.
“Cadence?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes.” I gave him a smile. His grimace told me it was a bullshit one. “I’m fine. I promise. I’m just going to head home. Need to do some homework.”
“Let me walk you over.”
I shook my head and held up my hand, maybe doing it a little too fast. “No. I’m fine.” I motioned to Bebe. “Take care of him. Maybe he’s lonely.”
Seth’s lips pressed together as his eyes narrowed.
This time my smile was more believable. “I’ll see you around.”
The walk past the two houses was complete hell. Seth’s gaze stayed on me the entire time, and all I wanted to do was bend over and cry. Or scream. Or curse. Maybe a little of all three. I wanted to do something to relieve this tension, but I couldn’t do anything in front of Seth. He’d ask questions, demand answers, and I had nothing I was willing to give him.
Once I got inside, I went for the ibuprofen, refusing to take the harder stuff. If it was worse in a few hours, I’d consider taking gabapentin, but for now, I preferred muscling through the pain.
I flopped into bed, barely remembering to kick off my shoes. Lying there, I cursed my situation, and deep hatred welled inside as I fought through the pain that wouldn’t go away. That may never go away. It would have been so easy for all this hatred to be aimed at Lindie, but a chunk of it was at myself too, for being so weak, for putting myself in this situation. For getting what I deserved.
Tears fell down as I gritted my teeth, too afraid to move and make it worse. It felt like I wasn’t going to survive the night. My stomach growled, hunger pains adding to my discomfort.
Shit. No way was I getting out of bed and down the stairs to get anything to eat.
For the rest of the night, my old best friend, Pain, stayed up all night with me. Not even the hot and cold combination treatment worked as well as it normally did to alleviate the pain.
Chapter Eleven
I managed to doze off at one point, but when I woke up, nothing had changed. I was still hurting, still hungry, and I wasn’t so sure I could get out of bed. The morning ticked away as I slowly became mobile again. The moment I made it to the bathroom, I caved and took gabapentin, mentally cursing myself as I swallowed it.
