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“Isn’t that part of being a performer?” Gavin asked.
I hadn’t even noticed he was there before he spoke, and I raised my eyebrows when he did.
“I guess,” I said. “But like I said before, I think I’m better suited for being a backup singer than lead or solo, so when I do things like this, I don’t know, I feel a little awkward being the only one. It makes me want to find someone else to do the talking or something.”
“You know, there are a lot of famous people who don’t like being the center of attention, as strange as it sounds,” Kim volunteered. “I know there’s a lot of actors who are really famous, but when it comes to actually engaging with people, they’d rather be left alone.”
“It’s not quite that. I don’t mind talking to fans. And I don’t want anyone to think that I’m snobby or anything, but it’s more like I feel exposed or something when I’m up there. It was different when I had my best friend with me and we did things together when we were younger, but now, I don’t know. I might still be shaken by what happened the other day, I guess,” I admitted. “I’m rambling.”
“That’s probably going to be on your mind for a while,” Gavin said. “But you don’t have to worry about that anymore. We let the bouncer know when we got here to keep an eye out for the guy and not to let him in if he came around.”
“We’re pretty sure at this point that he really was just visiting the location, and he won’t be a problem moving forward,” Kim said.
“And if he is, I’ll shoot him,” Andrew chimed in.
The three of us laughed, and Kim shook her head.
“I don’t know if we should go that route,” she said. “Still, you don’t have to worry about him anymore.”
“I mean, sure,” I said. “But it’s more than just him. Like, he’s just one guy amid a lot of people who are creepy. But when I’m on stage, I’m not worried about creeps. I’m worried that people are going to think I’m dumb or something if I run out of things to say. Or there’s times I try to say something, and the wrong word comes out.”
“That happens to the best of us,” Kim said with a wave of her hand. “Besides, the more you practice, the easier it gets, right?”
“I would assume I had more than enough practice when I was in Nashville. But maybe not.”
“You’ll have plenty of time to practice here,” Andrew told me. “I mean, you already said that we need to come down to the Mermaid to see you next weekend, and since that’s only a few blocks away from here, I bet you anything that most if not everyone at tonight’s show are going to come see you there, too.”
“I’m not sure if that adds pressure or makes me feel better,” I said with a small laugh. “I mean, part of me feels like I’m just going to see the same faces so it’s not that bad, but another part of me feels like they’re going to be judging how well I do there against how I did tonight.”
“I think you should just take a breath and relax, go with the flow of the night and embrace how good you really are,” Gavin said.
I looked at him in surprise.
“You think I’m that good, then?” I asked. I wanted to point out how many times he said I was annoying, but I bit my tongue. I knew he was trying here, and I wasn’t going to be a jerk about that.
“I do,” he said. “I have heard a lot of people playing gigs like this, and you are one of the best I have ever heard.”
“Oh stop,” I said with a small laugh. “Now I know you’re just being nice. It’s okay. I’m over what happened the other day, you don’t have to be such a gentleman anymore.”
“Who said anything about being nice?” he asked. “You know I’m an asshole. I’m not unaware of that myself. I call things like I see them, and if I see someone doing a good job, I’ll say so. I don’t care if the person is my best friend. If they do a shit job, I’m going to tell them that, too.”
“You know, somehow I can see that,” I said with a laugh.
“There are some benefits to being so blunt,” Gavin told me with a shrug.
“I think it’s charming,” Kim said. “I mean, you might be a little rough around the edges, but there’s some charm with that. Like, you never know what’s going to come out of your mouth, and when you do say something nice to someone, it’s like an added bonus for everyone involved.”
“God forbid you’re just nice,” I said with a laugh.
“I think you like it, too,” Kim said. “Otherwise, you’re going to always wonder who is being fake with you and who is being sincere.”
“There is some truth to that,” I admitted.
Kim continued, “It does mean a lot when an asshole tells you that you did a good job, though I think you are too hard on Gavin. I have known some real assholes in my life, and he’s rough, but he’s not that bad.”
I rolled my eyes, though I was rather discreet about it. I knew both Kim and Andrew really liked Gavin, and while I was doing my best to give him a fair chance at being a friend, I was still rather resentful toward him for the way we had met.
It wasn’t like I could just forget about that after the first month of me living here. But then, he redeemed himself by saving me from that creep in the woods, and he bought me the best guitar I had ever played, so there was that in his favor.
