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“I had a nightmare last night about it,” I said. “It was awful. He threw me out of the house and said he didn’t want to see me ever again.”
“That was a nightmare,” she reminded me. “We’re going to see him in real life, and things will be okay.”
“I’m coming, too,” Neils said.
“Awesome, road trip,” Libby chimed in. “Clearly, I’m not hanging out here by myself. If you guys are going, then I’m going, too.”
“You all are so amazing, I mean it,” I told them. “Thank you. Thank you for being there for me. Really, I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“You’d be sad!” Libby yelled.
I laughed a little, despite the pain in my chest.
“I would be sad,” I said. “Thank you.”
“Come on, breakfast is ready, and after that, we’ll get going,” Erin encouraged.
“I’ll help with tidying up things before I go,” I said, but she shook her head.
“Absolutely not. We’ll take care of all that when we get back. Right now, we’ve got more important things to do than worry about the bedding,” she said.
I smiled at her kindness and joined them at the table. I wasn’t very hungry after the fight the night before, but it was hard to turn down the pancakes Neils made.
And the fact they were going back with me meant the world to me. I knew I could always count on Erin, but it was moments like these that made me especially grateful to have her in my life. I knew she wasn’t going to leave me hanging here, and we would figure this out.
Neils put a cup of coffee in front of me, and Libby offered me the pancakes, which I obliged.
I wanted to believe that everything would be okay. It was just a matter of going home and talking. I just couldn’t shake the nightmare I’d had out of my mind. I didn’t want that to happen, no matter what.
And right now, all I could remember were his words in my dream, telling me he never wanted to see me again.
After all, what if he felt that way, and going home would just give him the chance to actually say it?
What if he broke up with me for good?
What if I screwed this up forever?
Chapter Thirty
Gavin
I sighed when I heard my phone ringing yet again. I was sitting at the kitchen table, doing everything in my power to forget about the world around me and just read the paper.
I didn’t want to think.
I didn’t want to deal with the emotions that were running through my mind.
I didn’t want to do anything but just exist, though even just existing felt miserable.
But, when I had gotten home late the night before, Kim of all people was outside.
I didn’t know what she was doing so late at night making rounds, but I didn’t care too much, either. I was still angry and only wanted to go to bed. So, when she came over to ask me where Krissy was, I had to do my absolute best to give her the vaguest version possible.
“Okay, but you know I’m worried for you two,” she told me before leaving. “I’m sure this is more a misunderstanding than anything, and Krissy is probably just as upset about this as you are.”
“I don’t know, and I don’t have it in me to deal with her being upset,” I snapped. “I just want to be left alone.”
With that, I had gone into the house, but I hadn’t closed the door before she called out after me, assuring me she was going to be checking in with me in the morning.
