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“You didn’t tell me Alan was handled by my dad.”
“You didn’t ask. You assumed I did it. While I would have if he didn’t, he stepped in to take care of Alan. Dominic could have been killed. Alan didn’t get to live after that. Whether you like it or not, he had to go.”
I didn’t regret what I did. Not after someone I cared about had a gun held to them, after they were drugged, stabbed. Alan slid under my and JJ’s radars, working for both of us using different aliases. Then he held Dominic hostage to get to Junior. It was a shitshow of epic proportions. Had Alan been handed over to the cops, who knew how long he’d stay in jail for. The justice system didn’t always work as it should. I wished it did.
I continued, “If I could have prevented my hands getting bloodied, I did. But if your life was on the line, I chose you and still would.”
“You lied to me.”
“And you ripped out my heart.”
“Because of what you did! How dare you throw it back on me! You lied, killed, all in the name of love!” He shook his head. “I can’t fucking believe you.”
“I did.” Love made me do things I wouldn’t otherwise. Things I didn’t regret, except for the fact they hurt JJ. That was the last thing I wanted. Him being hurt tore me up inside. Sitting here across from me with so much pain in his eyes. If I could take it away I would. But I couldn’t. The damage was done. “You should be with Greer.” Even speaking the words hurt. The truth was, I wanted both of them. Together, they’d have a balance. One I so desperately needed in my life.
Greer was light and happiness. He was a good man with a big heart. He deserved a man to love him just as fiercely as he would love them in return.
JJ was all fucking fire. He burned so hot. He was passionate, steadfast in what he believed was right and wrong.
Greer could temper JJ’s fire and JJ could steam Greer up.
Me, I was selfish and desired them both. It was easy to want them when I knew I’d never get them. Having them both wasn’t in my future and that was okay as long as I knew they were happy.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” JJ asked. “Have you been spying on me like my dad is?”
“I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“You’d only murder for me.”
“I don’t want to talk about that anymore.”
“How do you know about Greer?”
“How do you think?”
JJ watched me, studied my face. I saw the pieces click into place. “Fucking Dom,” he growled.
“You can’t get mad at him. I tampered with his love life. He was getting me back.”
“What did you do?”
“I put him and Pey in a VIP room before Pey knew Dom danced here. Pey figured it out. The rest is history.”
“He wants you with me?”
I shrugged. “I have a history with both you and Greer.”
“You don’t deserve Greer.”
“You’re right. I don’t. I don’t deserve anyone,” I whispered and got to my feet. My pants were wrinkled, as was my shirt. I smoothed my hands down them, trying to steady myself for the inevitable.
JJ was going to walk out the door and I didn’t know when I’d see him again. It was bad enough his scent was in my space. This mixture of grease and spice. Fuck, I wanted to bury my face in his neck and breathe him in. Soak as much in as I could before he left. How I managed to not give in to that when I had him in my arms was anyone’s guess.
JJ stood. “I’m not going to pity you, Dex.”
“I’m not asking you to.”
“What I do with Greer is my own business.”
