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I nodded. “It is. I want you happy. And Greer.”
He crossed the room until he was standing in front of me. I peered down at him, noticed a stray silver hair mixed in with his blond. I wondered if he’d go full silver early like his dad did.
JJ was beautiful. I’d always thought so. I loved his hard edges. Loved how fierce he was when he was with me. Loved his fire. Now, I was nothing more than a shell of the person I used to be. Love couldn’t save me. Love was a poison that seeped into my veins and bled through my system. It hit every corner of me. When the end came, when JJ left me years ago, that poison destroyed me. Now I only had emptiness. A vast void.
His hot, minty breath ghosted over my lips. “Fuck. You.”
I couldn’t move. Could hardly breathe. Words wouldn’t come. Nothing formed on the tip of my tongue.
“Fuck you, Dexen.” There was less heat this time. His bottom lip trembled. I wanted to kiss it, calm him. Make him see I was still in here, the man he once loved, buried underneath a ton of pain. “I wish I could fucking hate you,” he whispered brokenly.
Tears stung my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. He shouldn’t be like this. Shouldn’t hurt. I did it to him, just like he did to me when he left.
“Why can’t I hate you?” He gripped the back of my neck hard and slammed our mouths together. I wasn’t ready for it. A gasp left me. It was the opening he needed to plunge his tongue between my lips. To lick and taste me. To fuckingownme.
He moaned, or maybe I did. Either way, a second later he was pulling back, walking away. A lone tear tracked down his cheek. I wanted to reach for him, beg him not to go, but that would only cause us more agony, if this was any indication.
“I should hate you, Dex, but I don’t.” He grabbed the door handle and turned it, stepping into the hallway, away from me. Again.
I stood there for a few beats of my heart before my knees buckled and I dropped to the carpet. My own tears fell, a brutal ache lashed through my chest at his absence. I gave in and let it consume me, but not for long. I couldn’t break again, not like I did before.
9
GREER
Sweat ran down my face, back, and chest. My muscles burned; my body ached. It felt good. I was lazy yesterday with JJ here. I sat on the couch with him and watched TV, just like I’d thought about when he was in front of me Friday night. We talked, got to know each other better. Nothing more than a kiss was shared between us. We didn’t say we were anything, but I felt more settled. I didn’t think he was using me for sex.
I was hitting the speed bag when Peyton came downstairs. “You have a visitor.”
“JJ?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll be right up.”
I finished my reps then grabbed a towel from the shelf we kept the clean ones on. There was no time to shower, but I could at least wipe the sweat from my skin. I lifted my arm and smelled my pit. I was good on that side. I checked the other one, which was fine too. At least I didn’t stink.
The drag pipes on JJ’s Harley were loud as he roared up the driveway. It was so badass. Shit, did I have a thing for bad boys? Was JJ even considered a bad boy? Whatever. He was hot and I wanted him. End of story.
Leaning down, I grabbed my bottle of water and chugged it, making a mental note to refill it when I went upstairs. With the way I was sweating, I needed to replenish. I straightened the rest of the room and was about to shut the lights off when I heard socked feet coming down the stairs rapidly. I rushed over, hoping he didn’t fall. The steps were stained wood and could be slippery since there was no runner on them. Peyton, Dominic, and I always came down in sneakers or bare feet.
JJ’s eyes were wide; his cheek looked like it had a bruise forming on it. I looked him over quickly and spotted dried blood on his knuckles.
I dropped the towel and bottle to the floor so I could take his hand in mine. “What happened?”
“I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry.” His voice was frantic; his body shook.
“Hey, easy. Come over here.” I led him to one of the benches. I sat first and brought him down next to me. “Tell me what happened.”
“Malik woke me up banging on my door. My old man was summoning me, so I threw on clothes and went with him. I had to. If I didn’t, he’d be pissed, and I’d learned not to fight him on that. It was easier to get it over with than resist. I get there and he starts talking about how he knew I was here Friday night. That I didn’t leave until Saturday.”
I tensed. “Is he tracking you?” I was usually the one who calmed down situations. Right now, I was a breath away from getting in my SUV and finding Jordan.
“No, I check often, but he doesn’t need to. Not when he can have me tailed. Anyway, he tells me I should be with Dexen. How he’s good for me and all that shit. I get out of him how he’s cleaned up Dexen’s messes, his murders, and other shit. Alan, that was my dad or one of his men who got rid of him. Dex didn’t pull the trigger. But that’s not all. Apparently, Dex had been looking out for me while we were together and after we split. He stopped people from killing me by murdering them first. I thought there were only the two guys Dex killed. I guess not.”
This was a lot to unpack. Dexen wasn’t the type of man to let threats hang. If he knew someone he cared about was in danger, he’d do what he had to so they were safe. Once upon a time, he was in love with JJ. Hell, he still could be for all I knew. So, while JJ didn’t like anyone killing for him, I could understand why Dexen did it.
JJ wasn’t done talking. “I left my dad’s place and was dropped back off at my apartment. I went into the shop, grabbed my bike, and headed over to the club.”
